


I Will Hold You Here: A Prequel

by AthenaTseta



Series: A Story of 1000 Words [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Backstory, F/F, Pre-Canon, Prequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthenaTseta/pseuds/AthenaTseta
Summary: The Warden had a life long before she was called to defeat the Ferelden Blight and slay the archdemon. A story of what came before, and a glimpse into the mind of the elf that could love a bard, forgive her enemy, and save the world.





	1. Give and Take (Dragon 9:04)

_9:04 Dragon_

Ashalle woke to pounding on her aravel door. She reached over to wake Sylvar, forgetting he was out on a hunt. She stumbled to her feet as the knocking continued. She shushed her little son, who withdrew to a corner and hid under a blanket. Tentatively, she cracked the door open, then threw it wide when she saw who was there.

“I’m going to be with him,” the elf said, her eyes lonely and sad.

“Fenia?” Ashalle said. She noticed the little bundle in the woman’s arms. “What are you doing? It’s late. Come inside.”

“No,” the elf called Fenia said. Her green eyes glinted in the dark. “Radavur brought me here, but I cannot stay without him.”

Ashalle grabbed her friend’s arm. “Fenia, you have lived here for years. This is your home. This is your clan. We love you. You know that.”

Fenia’s eyes closed. “I watched him… I watched him… They…” Her voice cracked. “So much blood…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Ashalle whispered. “Those shemlen shouldn’t have been anywhere near Asha’bellanar’s hut. How could you have known? Hahren Radavur was trying to protect you. And her…” She looked down at the little bundle of blankets that was now beginning to move.

“I can’t stay here without him.”

“Listen to yourself!” Ashalle hissed. “I am your friend, yes?”

“I’ve never had a friend closer,” Fenia replied with a sad smile.

“And so I cannot let you just abandon your child! She has lost her father; she will want her mother!”

“Would you take care of her?”

Ashalle was stunned silent.

“If I could not, would you?”

“I… of course I would, but don’t talk like that…”

“Here.” Fenia thrust the bundle, which now had a little face visible and little arms trying to wiggle free, at Ashalle. “Take her. Raise her.”

Ashalle withdrew. “How can I raise the keeper’s daughter?” She shook her head. “No, Fenia. You have to stay.”

The little elf started to cry. Ashalle’s heart broke as Fenia looked at the da’len with eyes full of pain.

“She looks like him,” Fenia whispered. “I can’t.”

Ashalle put her hand on Fenia’s shoulder. “Please, lethallan. Think of what is best for her.”

Fenia kept staring at the little elf, still fussing.

“She needs a mother who loves her with her whole heart.”

“She does,” Ashalle said encouragingly.

Fenia swallowed, then nodded.

“You are a good friend, Ashalle. And you have a good heart.”

Ashalle breathed a sigh of relief. “And you, Fenia. Come, stay with me tonight. It’s dark.”

Fenia looked up at the sky. It would be evune’nira soon.

“The moon is bright tonight.” She gave Ashalle a small smile. “I will find my way.” She took the bundle back and the little elf quieted almost instantly, snuggling into Fenia. “Melava somniar, lethallan.”

“Melava somniar.”

Ashalle watched Fenia slowly walk back to the aravel she had shared with her falon’saota before closing the door with a sigh.

***

The next morning dawned bright and warm, and Ashalle was tending to her son, Nolith, when Paivel and the new hahren, Marethari, came striding over to the large campfire, calling the clan over. The urgency in the new keeper’s voice kept anyone from tarrying.

“It seems the creators continue to test us,” Marethari said gravely. She was holding a little bundle in her arms, and Ashalle’s heart jumped into her throat. “We lost Hahren Radavur only two months ago, only to welcome his daughter to us before our last evune’nira. We now must face another loss…”

Ashalle gripped Nolith’s hand tightly.

“Fenia Mahariel…” Marethari’s voice caught. “Has left us. I know not where she has gone, but…”

Before she could say more, the little bundle in her arms began to cry, as if it could understand the words being said.

A tear trickled down Ashalle’s cheek. “The da’len needs a mother who loves her,” she said, voice wavering. Eyes fell on her, and she swallowed. “Fenia was my friend. I will love her daughter as my own.”

Silence filled the camp. No one seemed to know what to say. Finally, Marethari sighed.

“Come, Ashalle. If you are willing, I will not stand in the way…”

But Ashalle had already crossed to where Marethari was standing and scooped the crying elf into her arms.

“Hush, da’vhenan…” she murmured, rocking the babe. “Tel’enfanim. You are safe. Do not fear…”

“Fenia never told me what her name was to be,” Marethari commented. “And she is reaching the age of her naming ceremony.”

Ashalle nodded, still shushing the little elf, who began to calm. Fenia had been right. The baby _did_ look quite a bit like Radavur…

But back to the matter at hand. The truth was, Ashalle had no idea what her friends had planned on naming their child.

“Renya,” she said, glancing up at Marethari. “Her name is Renya.”

The hahren watched her carefully for a moment, as if not believing that was the babe’s intended name, but eventually nodded. She put her hand on the baby’s head gently. “We will have the naming ceremony for Renya Mahariel tomorrow, before any more tragedy can befall her,” she said quietly.

“Ma serannas, Hahren.”

Marethari nodded, looking distracted, before excusing herself. Nolith came over and tugged on Ashalle’s skirts.

“Mamae?”

Ashalle managed a wavering smile before bending down. “Meet your new little sister, da’vhenan…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw...
> 
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> 
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	2. Lost and Found (9:08 Dragon)

_9:08 Dragon_

Ashalle watched as Renya toddled around the camp, Nolith by her side. She couldn’t help but smile, first with pride that her son was such a good big brother to Renya, and second with a little sadness because she could see the other elves treating Renya with a sort of kind pity she didn’t think the da’len deserved. True, elves with the gift of magic usually showed signs by the time they had four years, and, yes, Radavur was a popular hahren and so Ashalle could understand the clan wanting his daughter to one day be their leader, but – and this Ashalle thought to herself with the stubbornness of any mother – Renya could stand on her own two feet and didn’t need sympathy from the other elves. At least the other fledglings treated Renya normally. She even seemed to have made a friend in Tamlen, a sandy-haired elf who followed Renya around like a baby halla.

She sighed. The arlathvhen would be happening soon, and that meant that some elves would be going to live with another clan, and the Sabrae would be home to new elves, as well. One new addition would be a mage to take Renya’s place as Marethari’s first. While Renya never seemed like the sort of child who begrudged any of the other children for having something she didn’t, she could hardly think to predict how Renya would eventually react to knowing that she was supposed to be the hahren one day, except wouldn’t be because she lacked magic.

“Mamae,” Renya said, wandering back over. Nolith had found his friends and was playing with them by the trees. “Why don’t I look like Nolith?”

Ashalle’s eyebrows raised. “Who said that to you?”

Renya shrugged. “Alinar. He said brothers and sisters are supposed to look like each other, but Nolith has black hair and brown eyes, but I have brown hair and green eyes.”

With a sigh, Ashalle crouched down. “You know Mamae loves you very much, da’len, yes?”

“Yes, Mamae.”

“And Dadae loved you, too, before he went with Falon’din to live with Elgar’nan and Mythal?”

“Yes, Mamae.”

Another sigh. Ashalle offered Renya her hand. “Come, da’len. There is something I need to tell you.”

***

“Renya!” Ashalle cried frantically. “Renya! Where are you?!”

She crashed through the trees, praying to Mythal to protect her daughter until she was found. Crying caught her attention and Ashalle clambered through the trees until she found a lone little elf crying at the foot of a small sapling.

It was the tree the clan had planted for Hahren Radavur. But there was no way Renya could have known that when she had collapsed at its roots, sobbing for her lost parents.

“Renya? Da’vhenan, come here…” Ashalle said quietly, sitting on the ground next to her and pulling the sobbing elf onto her lap. She rocked her, murmuring comforting words in her ear.

“…And your dadae was one of the bravest elves I’ve ever known,” Ashalle eventually murmured. “He never turned away, not when the people he loved were in danger.” She kissed Renya’s forehead. “That’s important, da’len. He promised to protect your mamae – and you – and everyone he cared about. He promised to protect all the people he loved. And that’s what he did.”

Renya sniffled. “And… and my mamae?”

Ashalle took a deep breath, wondering what to say next. How could she tell this little fledgling that her mother abandoned her – her _child_ – because of her broken heart? Marethari didn’t know the reason Fenia had left, but Ashalle did, and was torn between feeling sorry for her friend and being angry at how selfish she had been. Her own bonded had died not too long ago, and Ashalle’s life had gotten significantly harder with two small elves to care for, but the children always had to come first.

She sighed again and decided to lie. Sort of.

“She… she was hurt when your dadae died. Very badly. And after you were born she… she went to be with him.”

Renya sat quietly, thinking this over.

“Are you going to go be with Dadae, too?” She swallowed. “Nolith’s dadae?” she added, as if correcting herself.

Ashalle’s voice caught and a few tears trickled down her face as she pulled Renya closer.

“No, da’vhenan. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to leave you.”

“Ar’lath, Mamae.”

***

Ashalle smiled and watched the fledglings playing. The trip to the Dales had been pleasantly uneventful, and the arlathvhen had provided a chance for old friendships to be rekindled, stories to be traded, and skills to be taught and learned.

For the fledglings, it meant more friends to get into mischief with. Renya and Tamlen had found a group of elves and had quickly become the leaders, and they seemed to be playing out the story of Falon’din and Dirthamen. It suited them, Ashalle thought with a smile. They were each other’s shadow. Nolith was learning how to mend clothes and armor from one of the craftsmen, and the hahrens were all meeting a little distance away. It was a peaceful day. For most.

Near Ashalle were two other elves, speaking in hushed whispers.

“She is the third of the clan to have magic,” the woman said to her bonded. She lowered her voice. “The Sabrae have none. Their keeper died and his fledgling is without the gift.”

Ashalle pricked up her ears. There was no way she would allow Hahren Marethari to take Renya away from her. She watched a little elf with black hair and olive eyes tentatively make her way over to the group Renya was with, but kept listening to the conversation.

“What can we do?” the man replied, taking the woman’s hand. “We must preserve our culture.”

The woman yanked her hand away and glanced around angrily. Ashalle focused a little more obviously on the black haired girl as she tried to join in the stick-tossing game the fledglings were now playing.

“How can you say that about _our daughter?_ ” she hissed.

Ashalle winced as the black-haired fledgling accidentally whacked Renya in the head. The girl dropped the stick and waved her hands in front of her, apologizing. If Ashalle hadn’t known better, she would have said it felt like the ground trembled a little.

“What can we do?” the man whispered back. “The Sabrae are a good clan. Hahren Radavur…”

“Hahren Radavur is _dead._ ”

Renya – still rubbing her head – gave a little shrug and picked up the stick and moved it around the way the game dictated, then once again, slower, before handing the stick back to the other girl. At that moment, Nolith called her over and Renya left the little group of children to go see what her brother wanted. The other little girl, now ignored by the rest of the group, wandered back toward where Ashalle and the two other elves were standing.

“But –” the man said.

“Hush. And I forbid you from saying anything to her.”

Ashalle sighed and walked away, deciding to not eavesdrop on these elves anymore. They had been right, though. Whatever elves were told they would be moving to a new clan would not have a choice in the matter. Her eyes fell on Renya. She could only hope for the best for her daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	3. A Familiar Scene (9:09 Dragon)

_9:09 Dragon_

“Give it back!” The young elf jumped up and down as she tried to catch the book being tossed high over her head. The other elves simply laughed at her.

“But you never come out and play. What, are you too good for us?” one said nastily as he caught the book and threw it to one of his friends.

“Don’t you like playing with us?” asked the elf who caught the book. She gave Merrill a serious look as the young mage turned to her desperately.

“No, I don’t!”

The elf tisked at her. “See? You’re so mean, and then you expect us to be nice to you….” She tossed the book again.

“That’s Hahren Marethari’s! Give it back!”

“Hey, Meviel, can you believe that she’s going to be the first one day?”

“You are?” Meviel asked, catching the book as it was tossed to her. She watched Merrill nod slowly. “Oh. Well…” She glanced down at the book in her hands thoughtfully.

“Please, please give it back…” Merrill begged, her hands outstretched. “Please…”

“Meviel, come on. Pass it here!” one of the other elves called. Meviel looked up, considering.

“Yeah, come on. If you don’t pass it, you’re a shemlen!”

Meviel looked back at Merrill. Merrill’s eyes widened hopefully as Meviel glanced between her and the book a few times.

“No!” Merrill cried as Meviel threw the book to the elf across from her. Merrill jumped, but the book’s arc was too high.

It wasn’t fair, Merrill thought horribly as she tried to retrieve the keeper’s book. She had been given to the Sabrae only a year ago, never to see her family again. It was so different here than in Nevarra. None of the elves were nice to her; that was why she stayed with Marathari, because at least the hahren, while stern, was kind.

She felt her anger bubbling inside her, and tried to suppress it.

“Len’alas lath’din!” one of the young boys cried as she lunged for the book in his hands. “Len’alas lath’din!”

The fledglings began chanting.

“Len’alas lath’din! Len’alas lath’din! Len’alas –”

Something erupted from Merrill, knocking all the children backwards. She stood in the center of the circle of collapsed elves, breathing heavily with tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m not!” she yelled.

The fledglings were scrambling to their feet and beginning to run away.

“What are you so upset about? It was just a joke,” one of the young girls said before throwing the book at Merrill. Merrill tried to catch it but the girl hadn’t thrown it hard enough, and the book landed in the dirt. Soon Merrill was left alone, and she fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands and beginning to sob. She just wanted to go home.

“Hey.”

Merrill looked up warily. Another fledgling around her age was walking toward her. Her green eyes were focused on Merrill with concern. As the elf came closer, Merrill scooted away. The other elf stopped.

“Are you okay?” the other elf asked.

Merrill nodded. The other elf raised an eyebrow, and then reached out her hand toward her. Merrill withdrew.

The other elf pulled her hand back, watching Merrill carefully. Merrill looked away, wishing this elf would leave her alone.

“Don’t-!” she began when the elf picked up the book from the dirt. She stopped when the elf offered it to her. Without saying anything, she snatched the book out of the other elf’s hands.

“Ir abelas,” the other elf said. She tilted her head a little as Merrill looked away. “Is the book okay?”

“It’s fine. Go away!” Merrill didn’t like how the others teased her, but was more afraid of this elf who was being nice to her. She was sure the elf was just leading her on.

“Vin,” said a voice behind them. “Come and play with us.”

“Nae, it’s okay, I’m talking to… her,” the elf replied awkwardly, realizing she didn’t know the other elf’s name. The meeting of the clans had happened just the previous season, and new elves were living with the Sabrae now.

“Come on. Leave the lath’din alone!”

Merrill sunk into the ground a little more, but the other elf spun on her heel.

“Tel’sil’dirtha, Alinar! Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Ooo, are you saotem, now?” Alinar teased, making kissing noises as he walked closer. Merrill hugged the book to her chest as the other elf stood firmly between her and the advancing elf, arms crossed.

The two elves stood glaring at each other for a few moments, until Alinar kicked the dirt between them. The other elf frowned in confusion. It wasn’t until she heard Merrill’s coughing that she realized what he had done. She glanced behind her and saw Merrill wiping her eyes furiously while still holding the book. Alinar grinned.

The next thing he knew, Alinar found himself on the ground with his arms pinned to his sides by two strong legs. Green eyes flashed as they bore into his darker ones, and he tried to pull away as much as he could, but the other elf leaned in, pressing into his shoulders.

“Leave. Her. Alone,” she growled, not questioning her sudden possessiveness.

“Let him go.”

The elf turned, and Alinar craned his neck to look around the elf on top of him as best as he could. They wore matching disbelief on their faces.

“Let him go,” Merrill repeated, standing up and not looking at either one of them. “Just… please.”

Still looking at Merrill, the elves slowly stood up. Alinar, without another word, ran away.

“What’s your name?” Merrill asked, still staring at the ground.

“Renya.”

“I’m Merrill.”

Realization dawned on Renya’s face. “You’re the new elf from Nevarra. The one who’s Hahren Marethari’s first.” She nodded to Merrill in a little bow of deference. “I didn’t know that. Ir abelas.”

“No, no, don’t…” Merrill said, reaching out and touching Renya’s shoulder gingerly before removing her hand. Renya raised her head again.

“Why are you out here? Aren’t you usually with the hahren?”

“I… I wanted to read, but then…”

“Renya!” Another elf, this one a little older and with black hair, jogged over. Merrill took an automatic step back, but Renya looked unconcerned.

“Mamae is looking for you. She was afraid you went into the forest.”

“No, I promised her I wouldn’t do that again,” Renya said, looking at the ground but crossing her arms defiantly nonetheless.

“I know. She’s still worried.”

“I promised, Nolith,” Renya repeated stubbornly.

Nolith grinned. “I know. But Mamae is still worried. Let’s go.”

“I…” Renya looked at Merrill desperately. “I… Merrill is… was going to read me a story.”

“Merrill?” Nolith’s gaze finally settled onto the elf next to Renya. “The first?” He nodded to her. “It’s nice to meet you, finally. I’m Nolith.” He looked back at Renya before Merrill could respond. “I’ll tell Mamae. She’ll be happy to hear you and Merrill are friends.” An odd look passed over his face. “But be back before the evening meal!”

“I will.”

Merrill turned to Renya as Nolith walked away. “Why would your mother be happy you’re friends with me?”

Renya shrugged, unconcerned. “I don’t know. She said something after we came home about how my father was the hahren before Marethari and I was supposed to be a mage. But I’m not.” She pointed at the book now tucked carefully under Merrill’s arm. “So will you read me a story?”

Merrill blinked. This elf was supposed to be a mage. That meant that she was supposed to be the first, which would have meant Merrill could have stayed with her mother in Nevarra.

“And your brother isn’t a mage, either?” A little bubble of anger arose in her at Renya and her family.

Instead of looking offended, Renya just looked confused. “Nolith? Why would he be a mage?”

Merrill shook her head. “Your father was the keeper. Neither of his fledglings are mages?”

“Oh!” Renya dropped her gaze, looking sad. “Nolith isn’t really my brother. My real mamae is dead. Ashalle was my mamae’s best friend, she says, and that’s why she takes care of me.”

In an instant, Merrill’s anger disappeared; this poor elf didn’t have a family here, either. She cleared her throat a little.

“So… a story?” she offered in an attempt to change the subject. Renya brightened a little.

“Vin, yes, please.”

They walked over to a tree and sat beneath it; Merrill suppressed a smile as Renya sat next to her so their arms touched.

“What is it about?”

“What is what about?”

“The book.”

Merrill smiled. “It has all Elvhen stories in it. Let’s read this one.” She opened to a page about halfway through the book. “It’s the story of Elgar’nan and Mythal…”

***

_9:13 Dragon_

Renya watched Master Elrerion train some of the older elves to be hunters. They looked so graceful, moving seamlessly across the training grounds while firing arrows. And they moved so silently.

One day, Renya thought to herself, she would be a hunter. After all, she would never grow up to be the hahren – which seemed to bother the adults more than it bothered her – and she had no interest in the endless staring-at-animals that seemed to go along with caring for the halla. Ashalle had mentioned that she should become a loremaster or storyteller, which would be the closest she could ever come to being the keeper, but Renya wanted to protect people, like Ashalle said her father had promised to do. And what better way to do that than to help provide the food and materials – and indeed the physical protection – needed for everyday life with the clan?

A soft rustle caught her attention and she froze. She listened some more, and a little smile tugged on the corners of her mouth.

“Got you!”

But Renya was too fast, swinging to her feet and grabbing a stick from the ground as Tamlen pounced on her.

They tussled a little, using their sticks as dar’misu, until Renya was left standing with both her and Tamlen’s sticks in her hands. He pretended to glare at her.

“How do you do that?”

Renya shrugged with a grin, tossing the stick in her left hand back to him.

“Again?”

“You bet.”

As they continued to play, Renya noticed Merrill watching them. For a moment, she lost her concentration, and hissed in pain as Tamlen whacked her in the shoulder.

“Come on, Mahariel, you need to do better than that!” he said with a laugh.

“Oh yeah?” And with that, Renya tackled him.

“Um…”

The two elves lying tangled on the ground looked up at the unexpected voice. Merrill was watching them awkwardly. Or rather, she was staring at the ground a little to the left of where they were.

“Merrill?” Renya asked, climbing off of Tamlen. It was rare for the first to be so far from the hahren’s aravel. She was friendly enough, and usually chatted Renya’s ear off if they were alone, but mostly kept to herself.

“I… um… Master Ilen wanted to talk to you.”

Renya raised an eyebrow but nodded. Usually the first wasn’t sent on fetch quests, either. With a small wave to Tamlen, Renya followed Merrill across the camp. They weren’t headed for Ilen’s workbench.

“Merrill…?”

“I have to tell a story at the evening meal tonight,” Merrill said in a hurried whisper, looking like she was going to be sick.

“I like hearing you tell stories,” Renya said with a shrug. “That Navarran accent gets me every time.” She smiled at Merrill’s light chuckle.

“But it’s in front of everyone…”

Renya knocked their shoulders together. “You tell stories to me all the time.”

“But that… that’s just… you’re diff- that’s different.”

“So just pretend you’re talking to me.”

“…right.”

They turned and started walking toward Ilen’s workbench. Renya put her hand on Merrill’s shoulder and the first looked over at her with a shy smile.

“It’s alright, Merrill,” she said. “You’ll be fine.”

***

“I have to say,” Marethari said later that evening. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of such a young first having such a comprehensive knowledge of Dalish lore.”

“Thank you, Hahren,” Merrill replied. “I… I do try to pay attention during my lessons. I mean-!”

But Marethari held up a hand to quiet her. “I know. You do well, Merrill. I just wish you would spend more time with the others. Renya and Tamlen are wonderful, but you’re going to be the hahren one day, and…”

“They’re my friends,” Merrill said stubbornly, crossing her arms.

Marethari sighed. There wasn’t really a point to this. Merrill was kind to everyone in the clan, but she just wasn’t quite as dynamic as Radavur or – she quietly admitted – herself. She could be blunt in the most inopportune times; she was always right, but rarely tactful. Her gaze fell on Renya, who was talking to one of the other elves but also not-so-subtly waiting for Merrill to be finished.

She sighed again. Renya had her father’s personality – likeable and easygoing, with a personal code she followed unwaveringly – and Marethari wondered what it would have been like for her to be the first. She gave herself a little shake. It didn’t matter. As likeable as Renya was, she wasn’t the first, would never be the hahren, and seemed to have no greater desire than to be a hunter. It was a shame, really.

And what of Merrill? Of course, as a first Marethari had spent time with the other hahrens in the clan, and she had great respect for Master Elrerion, but she hadn’t mingled with most of the other younger elves, especially if they were not training to be lorekeepers or halla herders. But Merrill had her own ideas, and often spent time either alone, with Renya (accompanied sometimes by Tamlen), or tending to the other fledglings’ scraped knees.

“You’re right, Merrill,” Marethari said, defeated. “And one of them is waiting for you.”

With a grin, Merrill spun on her heel and darted off to where Renya was standing.

***

Renya tumbled to the ground laughing, having been tackled by Tamlen. The tussled around a bit, each trying to gain the best angle, when suddenly Renya was pulled to her feet by Ashalle.

“You must come home with me, da’len. Quickly,” she said seriously. She turned to Tamlen. “You should probably go as well, Tamlen.”

With a glance at Renya, Tamlen nodded and scampered off. Ashalle took Renya’s hand and started to lead her toward their aravel, walking a little too quickly to be natural and holding her hand a little too hard to be just for encouragement. In fact, her hand was trembling a bit despite her grasp.

“Mamae, what’s wrong?”

Before Ashalle could respond:

“Is this his daughter?”

Ashalle stopped short and closed her eyes as her heart jumped into her throat. She turned and saw Marethari standing next to an old woman with grey hair twisted around in a crown that was more reminiscent of a battle helmet than anything royalty would wear.

Marethari nodded. “Yes. Her name is Renya, Asha’bellanar.”

Ashalle sunk into a bow and tugged on Renya’s hand to do the same, but Renya was too busy gaping at the human in front of her to do anything. But Asha’bellanar didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she laughed.

“I think Radavur had the same look when he met me,” she said. Her gold eyes shone brightly as she studied Renya. Finally her frozen smile thawed and she looked at Ashalle. “Come, the knee of the People still bends too easily.” At the impatient hand-gesture, Ashalle rose.

“But I’ve imposed on you enough,” Asha’bellanar said, turning back to the keeper. “I have other business, you know.”

“Yes, Asha’bellanar,” Marethari replied with a little nod. “Thank you for gracing us with your presence.”

“Bah!” Asha’bellanar replied with another wave of her hand. “Gracing you? You all still have so much to remember.” Her gaze lingered on Renya for a few more minutes until Ashalle minutely stepped in front of her. The gold eyes flitted up to Ashalle’s, but the elf stood her ground this time. Asha’bellanar nodded once and turned back to Marethari.

“Take care, Keeper.”

“Ma serannas, Asha’bellanar. Would you-?”

But Asha’bellanar didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence, instead striding off past Ashalle and Renya. A flash of light behind them almost made Renya turn around, but Ashalle took her hand again and continued toward their aravel.

“Who was that, Mamae?”

Ashalle took a deep breath, but managed to smile. “Her name is Asha’bellanar, da’len. She is… a friend to the elves.”

“Oh. What did she want?”

“I don’t know, da’len,” Ashalle replied with a little shake of her head. “But I do know one thing.”

“What is it, Mamae?”

Finally Ashalle smiled. “She doesn’t come often. With a little luck, you will never see her again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm.
> 
>  
> 
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	4. The First

_Dragon 9:15_

“And look, then the feathers are put on like this…” Renya said, showing Merrill what she had learned from Master Ilen. “It supposed to help the arrow fly further, and… oops…” The feathers fell from the arrow and fluttered to the ground.

“Oh!” said another young elf, Amra, from Renya’s other side. “Nae, the notch isn’t deep enough!” She took the arrow from Renya and pulled out a short knife before setting to work on the arrow, tongue between her teeth. “Like this.” She showed the arrow to Renya. “Try again.”

Renya took the arrow with an easy grin. “Ma serannas,” she said. She turned back to Merrill with a small smile. “So as I was saying, the notch for the feathers needs to be a little deeper than you might think…”

Amra laughed and picked up another wooden shaft from the pile in front of her. They were supposed to be making arrows for the hunter apprentices to practice with. Merrill had seen Renya and come over, slowing when she noticed Amra there, too, but if Amra thought it was odd the first had come over to watch them work, she didn’t say anything. Tamlen walked over with another handful of shafts, with Ryul, another young elf, behind him carrying a little basket of feathers and material for arrowheads.

“Hello, Merrill,” Tamlen said before setting to work.

“Hello.”

Ryul did a double-take, but after looking at the other elves, took a seat.

“Are you here to make sure we are learning, rajelan?” he asked, glancing at the first.

“It’s Merrill, actually,” Merrill replied. “And no. I’m learning, myself.”

Ryul stared at her for a moment before chuckling uncomfortably and settling back in to his task.

“Ma nuvenin.”

The five elves sat there, four of them silently working and one of them pretending to not be thoroughly pleased when Renya scooted closer so Merrill could see what she was doing a little better.

A brief cacophony of noise startled the elves as three different parents called three different names at the same time.

“What are you doing, sitting here ignoring the first?” one of the elves demanded, pulling Ryul to his feet.

“And you didn’t even offer her something to sit on!” added another woman, walking toward Amra. “Here, Merrill,” she said with a little nod, pulling off a shawl she was wearing. “You shouldn’t be seated on the dirt.”

Merrill shook her head. “No, it’s alright, I…”

“No, no. You have eleven years. You are no longer just a fledgling,” the woman insisted. Slowly, Merrill accepted the shawl, an uncomfortable look on her face.

Tamlen, meanwhile, had been pulled to his feet by his father, who looked appalled that his son had been so disrespectful.

Renya rose, as well, noting that Ashalle wasn’t there and secretly being glad. But it didn’t last. Tamlen’s father rounded on her.

“And you, Renya! You should know better!” he said. “You’re the daughter of a hahren! You should-”

“Thoduin…” Amra’s mother interjected softly.

Tamlen’s father took a breath and shook his head. “It is time for the afternoon meal,” he said gruffly before walking off. With an apologetic look at Renya, Tamlen followed. One by one the young elves left with their parents, some with more protests than others, until Renya and Merrill were left alone. Merrill smiled sadly and opened her mouth to say something, before –

“Merrill, there you are,” said Marethari. Merrill wilted. “I’ve been looking all over for you. It’s time for the afternoon meal, and then your afternoon lessons.”

Merrill held Renya’s gaze for a moment before nodding and turning to follow Marethari back to the central campfire “Yes, Hahren…”

***

“Merrill is watching you. Again,” Tamlen said, knocking his shoulder into Renya’s. Renya looked up and her eyes met Merrill’s for an instant before the first turned her head away quickly.

“She seems lonely,” he continued.

“I’d be lonely too if I only spent time with the Hahren,” Renya whispered. Tamlen laughed.

“I think you’re right. Are you done with that?”

Renya nodded and handed the grinding stone to him. He added a few more piece of elfroot to his bowl and began grinding. Renya watched him for a moment, and then started to laugh.

“You’ll poison them if you keep it like that!”

“No I won’t.”

“They’ll sleep for days!”

Tamlen grunted but kept grinding. Hahren Lestina came over to check on them.

“And how are- whew,” she finished, fanning on front of her face. “Someone added a little too much elfroot…”

Renya grinned at Tamlen, who scowled back. Their expressions reversed when Lestina turned to Renya.

“How can we fix this, do you think, da’len?”

Renya continued frowning at the paste in Tamlen’s bowl. It didn’t seem fair that she had to fix his mistake. Lestina seemed to read her thoughts.

“We are all responsible for the good of the clan, remember that, da’len.”

Renya sighed. “Yes, Hahren.”

“You could distill it more.”

The three elves looked up at Merrill’s words. The first cleared her throat.

“You could distill it more,” she said again. “Or if you have more blood lotus available, you can add…” She grabbed the bowl away from Tamlen and considered the mixture. “Maybe twice the original amount, and it should counteract any negative effects.” She handed the bowl back to him, and he took it, looking stunned.

Lestina sighed. “Yes, Merrill.” But she smiled. “I was trying to make a point, but yes, you’re correct.” She turned to Tamlen and Renya. “I hope you’ve both learned something today.”

“Yes, Hahren,” they both murmured.

“Good.” And she walked away.

“I’m sorry,” Merrill whispered once she had gone.

Tamlen laughed. “Are you kidding? Now I don’t have to sit listen to Hahren Lestina and Hahren Mekrin talk about herbs for the rest of the afternoon!” He sobered, glancing over to where his father was sitting with Hahren Elrerion. “I mean… ma serannas, rajelan.”

“Please don’t,” Merrill replied quietly. She sat down next to them.

“Are you okay?” Renya asked.

Merrill sighed. “Alinar and Ryul…”

Tamlen grunted. “What did they do this time?”

“Marethari wanted me to learn to craft the vallaslin devotions, and they… they waited until I was gone. I don’t think they knew what all the drawings were, but… They found them and tore them up.” She glanced up at Renya. “I don’t think they will ever be done cleaning the halla pens and polishing the statues.”

“They should be glad Elgar’nan didn’t come down himself to punish them,” Renya said with a shake of her head.

“Renya?” Nolith walked up to them and nodded to Merrill. “Hello.”

Merrill nodded back. “Hello, Nolith.”

Nolith turned back to Renya. “Mamae is looking for you. She said she wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“Oh.” Renya stood and Merrill followed her. After a brief goodbye to Tamlen, who was still furiously grinding herbs in his bowl, the two younger elves began following Nolith.

“Merrill?” he asked. “Ir abelas, did you need Renya for something?”

Merrill’s eyebrows shot up. “N-no,” she said, her heart fluttering a little. “I… I was just…”

“I’ll see you later, Merrill,” Renya interjected. Merrill nodded, her heart sinking.

“See you later, lethallan.”

Renya’s face broke into a wide smile before Nolith took her arm and steered her away.

***

“Where are you going?”

“Ashalle asked me to go into the woods and collect some more elfroot,” Renya replied without looking up from the pack she was preparing. “If Tamlen asks, tell him it’s his fault,” she added slyly, glancing at Merrill.

The first chuckled. “I will. Are you going by yourself?” She reached out to grab Renya’s arm, but stopped herself.

“Nae. I’m going with Amra, Odelph, and Elitha.”

“That’s a lot of people for some elfroot.”

Renya laughed and straightened, slinging her pack over her shoulder. “We have a list.” She ticked off her fingers. “Elfroot, blood lotus, iron bark, and… The other one that I’m sure I’ll remember.”

“June’s stone, for the new apprentices to sharpen their knives,” Amra said, walking over. Renya nodded.

“Vin. Right.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yes. I think the others are waiting for us.”

“Renya…” Merrill said, grabbing the other elf’s arm. She stuttered a little when Renya looked at her curiously. “C-Come back… come back safely.”

Renya patted her hand, grinning lopsidedly. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> rajelan - an honored individual. I figured if the Dalish will refer to the Keeper as "Hahren," there must be an equivalent for the first. I'm not sure if I remembered to include this translation when it comes up in I Will Call You Home, but it's a pretty big deal haha
> 
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> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	5. Never Run Away

“Ah! Fenedhis!”

The other elves stopped, then sprang into action. Amra was lying on the ground with a trap on her ankle. Odelph rooted in her pack for a bandage while Renya and Elitha began prying the mechanism off.

“So close to camp?” Renya asked, gritting her teeth as she pried the pieces apart. “This doesn’t make sense.”

“Sense or not, just get it off!” Amra groaned, grabbing her leg just above the mechanism.

Soon she was free, and Odelph began wrapping the ankle.

“You should get back,” she said. “You know what Hahren Marethari says about human traps. They are sometimes coated with poisons.”

Amra paled at the thought.

“Can you walk?” Elitha asked, helping Amra to her feet when Odelph was finished. Amra tested her ankle, wincing a little. She seemed able to hobble forward without much difficulty.

“Yes, I can make it back to camp,” she said, looking back the way they came. “We aren’t that far. I can still just see the entrance.”

“Are you sure? One of us could come with you.”

“Nae. I’ll be alright.” She started limping away.

The other three elves watched her go.

“Maybe we should all go back,” Renya suggested. “If there are human traps so close to our camp, there might be other ones close by.”

“We’ll be careful,” Elitha said with a nod. “It’s the first time we’ve been sent to get things on our own. We can’t go back like we’re afraid.”

“Maybe some of us are afraid?” Odelph teased, looking at Renya. Renya crossed her arms.

“I’m not afraid!”

“Good, then let’s keep going.”

***

“No, let go of her!” Renya struggled against the shemlen holding her. Odelph was hidden from view, pinned to the ground by two very large men, and Elitha was fighting back against the younger-looking shemlen trying to hold her.

“Hold still!” the shemlen fighting Elitha yelled.

Renya turned her head as she heard the sound of cloth ripping and Odelph’s cries. They were cut off following a loud thump that sounded like a fist connecting with a melon.

Elitha screamed, and Renya’s eyes were drawn to her just in time to see the shemlen plunge a sharp knife into her side.

“I said ‘be still’!” He said, kicking her to the ground.

“Now you be good,” said the shemlen holding Renya. “Or you’ll get the same as her.”

Blood pounded in Renya’s ears and she lunged forward, biting the arm of the man holding her. She pulled and felt a chunk of skin give under the pressure. The man bellowed and released her. Spitting out whatever awful thing she had in her mouth, Renya turned to run. The man grabbed her arm with his one remaining good hand, but she twisted away, grinding her teeth together as she felt her own flesh rip.

She ran deeper and deeper into the forest, hearing the cries of Odelph and Elitha fade behind her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she continued running until she saw the entrance to her home. There were three elves on duty, and they startled into a fighting stance when they saw her, peering behind her, but Renya knew she had left the shemlen far behind. She collapsed into the nearest hunter.

“Shemlen!” she cried into the elf’s chest. “Shemlen! They… they have Odelph and Elitha!”

“Where?” Master Elrerion demanded, striding over.

“That way!”

“Get her home, and get another party together,” Elrerion commanded the woman holding on to Renya. “You two,” he added to the other hunters at the entrance. “Come with me.”

Before she knew what was happening, Renya had been scooped up and was being carried to Lestina and the other healers. Ashalle met them halfway.

“What happened?” she cried, trying to take Renya from the other woman. “What happened?”

Eventually, Renya was tended to and her arm bandaged. She couldn’t say how long she cried into Ashalle’s arms, apologizing over and over for not staying to help her friends. No matter how much Ashalle tried to absolve her, she refused to listen. Once the tears stopped flowing, Ashalle pulled back to look at Renya. She kissed her forehead.

“You survived, da’len. The shemlen take what they want, when they want it. Sometimes there is nothing that we can do.”

Renya didn’t say anything.

“Do you hear me, da’len?”

“Vin, Mamae.”

“You can’t win every battle. Sometimes all we can hope for is to survive. Yes?”

“Vin, Mamae.”

Ashalle sighed. “Here, let me get you something to eat. It is time for the evening meal.”

Renya was left alone with her thoughts. She stared numbly at the back of the closest aravel.

“…Renya?” said a tentative voice.

Renya nodded and tried to smile. “Hello, Merrill.”

Merrill came over and sat next to Renya on the raised bedroll.

“I’m… I’m glad you made it back.”

Renya nodded again.

“I… When Amra said there were human traps, and that you continued going… I… I wasn’t sure if… if…”

“I promised, Merrill,” Renya said slowly. She looked at her. “I will always keep my promises.”

Merrill sat quietly for a long time, before looping her arm with Renya’s.

“I believe you.”

“I’m never going to run away from them again.”

“…I believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, guys! Sorry for the hiatus... I've had some health problems and have just not had the energy to post, but I promise this story will be continued until its end!
> 
> Anyway.... poor Renya. I guess she should trust her gut when she has bad feelings about going on, hm? Sigh...
> 
>  
> 
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
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	6. Two Nights

“Renya,” Hahren Paivel said to her later that night. “Your mother needs you.”

Renya looked up from where she was playing with Amra and Tamlen. She rose obediently.

“Vin, Hahren. Is she…?”

“Renya!” Nolith jogged up to them. “I was wondering if you could help me take down the tanned leather outside of Hahren Ilen’s workbench?”

“I…”

“Renya!” Merrill had joined them. Renya looked at her, bewildered. “There you are! I-”

She was interrupted by a small commotion. The hunting parties had returned and they were carrying things that looked very large and were covered in blood. Renya craned her neck to see what they were carrying. The hunters all looked so solemn.

“Da’len! There you are!” Ashalle appeared behind her and all but physically spun Renya around. “You must come home with me, right now.”

“But, Mamae, what are they-?” She started to look over her shoulder, but Ashalle gave her a little shake and she turned around again. But before she could say anything, Tamlen and Amra had jumped to their feet, crying out in horror, and a wail had echoed across the camp.

“Elitha! Fenedhis shemlen!”

It was answered by another cry:

“Odelph… Mythal, protect her… My little da’len…”

At that, Renya wrenched away from her mother, dodged Tamlen, Amra, and Merrill, wriggled out of Paivel’s grasp, and shoved Nolith out of the way, in order to run after the parade of elves slowly working its way through camp.

She closed in on Master Elrerion, who was holding one of the fledglings in his arms, when she was intercepted by Hahren Marethari.

“This isn’t for you to see, da’len,” she said, stooping and wrapping her arms around Renya to stop her from getting away. Renya knew better than to fight against the hahren, but the hahren did not think to turn and stop Renya from watching. Because there, in the arms of two hunters, were the lifeless, bloody bodies of Elitha and Odelph.

“Nae!”

All pretense forgotten, Renya began fighting against the hahren. This was her fault; if only she had stayed, if only she was older, if only they had gone back… What if she had said she was scared? Would they have turned around, then?

“It’s not your fault, da’len. It’s not your fault…”

“I hate them! I hate all of them!”

“Hush, da’len. Hush…”

“Renya?”

Renya stilled at the sound of Merrill’s voice. The hahren tentatively let go of her. When it was clear that Renya was not going to run, she stood up. Elrerion called to her, and, after glancing at Merrill – who nodded – Marethari left the two elves alone.

“I’m sorry, Renya.”

Renya nodded.

“I’m glad you made it back.”

Another nod. A tear trickled down Renya’s cheek. Merrill reached out as if to brush it away, but hesitated. With a deep breath, Merrill closed the distance and slowly rubbed Renya’s cheek with her thumb. Renya shivered a little at the power she felt tingle at Merrill’s touch. They stayed like that for a few moments, green eyes holding each other’s gaze as if trying to read the mind of the elf in front of them.

They stood like that until they both felt awkward and stepped away from each other, Renya rubbing the back of her neck and Merrill rubbing her hands together.

“Well… melava somniar,” Merrill said to the ground before turning and walking away.

“Melava somniar,” Renya whispered into the darkness.

***

Renya yawned. It had been raining a little, but eventually the clouds parted and let the stars shine through, as if the creators wanted to ensure the People could celebrate daenlea’nira, the night of the stars.

“Tired, lethallan?” Tamlen teased, knocking her shoulder a little. Renya blinked and shook her head before straightening a little. She would look foolish if she fell asleep sitting around the fire.

“Hardly,” Renya said, stifling another yawn.

“Leave her alone,” Merrill said with a smile, sitting on Renya’s other side. She had just finished telling a story and came to sit them, ignoring the frown Marethari sent her way. “She’s had a long day.”

“We all have,” Tamlen shot back. “But you don’t see me…” He tried to stifle a yawn of his own and failed.

Amra, on Tamlen’s other side, laughed. “Dirthamen and Falon’din, the two of you!”

Merrill shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the two friends laughed.

“She started it!” Tamlen said indignantly. “It’s her fault!”

“No it’s not!” Renya replied, giving him a little shove that Tamlen returned. They began tussling a little, with Amra laughing and egging them both on. Merrill watched uncomfortably, torn between knowing she should intervene as the first but also wanting to join in and tussle with Renya, too.

“Renya!” Ashalle hissed, solving Merrill’s problem for her. Renya stopped, looking guilty. Ashalle made a head-gesture toward Hahren Paivel, who was telling the history of the clan, and Renya went back to sitting quietly, Tamlen sitting equally ashamed-looking next to her.

Peace reigned until the prayers and stories were over, and the elves broke off into smaller groups to talk and find suitable places to sleep under the stars, although most were saying close to the aravels in case the rain started again. Unsurprisingly, Tamlen and Renya found a spot of grass and were making themselves comfortable in no time. Amra joined them.

“Merrill?” Renya called, seeing the first still standing awkwardly by where the fire was beginning to burn low. “Are you coming?”

“I… I really shouldn’t…” Merrill whispered back, her heart sinking with Renya’s smile. Renya appeared to hesitate for a moment, and then nodded resignedly.

“You… are the first,” she said politely, looking disappointed but forcing another small smile before settling into her bedroll. She turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder, shivering a little when she felt the magical power that tingled at its touch.

“I’m also… your friend.”

Renya broke into a wide smile. “Vin, lethallan. Let me…”

“Here,” Amra said, giving the two of them an odd look. She indicated her bedroll, next to Renya’s. “I’ll… get another one.”

Tamlen sighed happily as the two other elves lay down. “I love this,” he commented to no one in particular, twisting around on his bedroll to look at where Renya and Merrill were.

Amra came back and settled down onto another bedroll.

“Vin. It’s good to remember our history,” Renya said, her mind going to Elitha and Odelph. “And all of our people.”

Merrill caught the strange look on her face and opened her mouth to speak, but Amra cut her off.

“It really wasn’t your fault.”

A little silence fell. Renya stayed staring resolutely at the stars, only relaxing when she felt Merrill’s hand gently cover her shoulder.

Amra sighed. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“It was the shemlen’s,” Tamlen cut in angrily. “It’s always the shemlen.”

Merrill squeezed Renya’s shoulder, and so she stayed silent. Tamlen eyed her suspiciously.

“You don’t think so?”

Merrill squeezed a little harder. Renya sighed. “I don’t know.”

Tamlen scoffed. “You _knew_ the other day.”

“I just wish they would leave us alone.”

“They can’t all be bad,” Amra reasoned, as if offering a truce. “But probably the ones that come looking for us aren’t just looking for new friends.”

“At any rate,” Merrill cut in now, scooting the slightest bit closer to Renya. “We’re safe here, and safe now, and with the clan, and it’s daenlea’nira, so…”

“Vin, yes,” Renya agreed. She looked around at her friends and, for the first time in days, smiled. “And this is how it’ll always be, yes?” She sighed contentedly at the various affirmative sounds that she had in response. Her smile widened when she felt Merrill scoot so close their arms were touching, and didn’t dare turn her head, knowing Merrill was on her side and watching her, hand still on her shoulder.

_Who cares about the shemlen?_ Renya thought with another yawn. Nothing could be better than this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, guys. I'm slow to post, but this story will be seen through until the end.  
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
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	7. Don't Run (Dragon 9:19)

_Dragon 9:19_

“Get away!”

Renya cursed herself. She had meant to run after the other elves, but Amra had stopped to help one of the fledglings and Renya had run back to help her. Now they were cut off from the rest of the clan. Amra had lunged in front of a blow meant for the fledgling and was on the ground, gasping for air. Luckily the child had managed to run away in the chaos. Now, Renya grabbed one of the swords from a dead human lying nearby and brandished it.

The shemlen laughed. “How adorable! She thinks she’s as good as a human!”

Renya growled.

“Aww…” the man mocked. “Does the little rabbit want to play?” He laughed again before lunging at her. She dodged his attack and then slashed at him. Her swing caught him in the shoulder, and the leather armor ripped. He spun and hacked at her, and Renya blocked his blows. She wasn’t sure why this should be so easy; she had never held a blade before, after all. But this was exhilarating, and her body seemed to move instinctively to parry his attacks. She even managed to land a few hits, herself.

He became angrier, and suddenly whatever confidence Renya had felt began to melt away as he advanced, swinging the sword with both hands and pushing his weight advantage. Renya began to lose ground, and stumbled as she tripped over a rock. With a yell, the shemlen jumped at her.

Suddenly the man was thrown back, and Renya scrambled to her feet and turned around in time to see Merrill standing there, hands outstretched in front of her, looking at the man with wide eyes. The man groaned and got to his feet. When he saw Merrill, his eyes narrowed.

“You bitch.”

He advanced, and Merrill took a step forward. She swallowed.

“Don’t… don’t come any closer!” she warned, keeping her hands out in front of her. The man stopped. His lip curled in a way that made Renya’s skin crawl.

“As it pleases you,” he said with a shrug. And without taking his eyes off of Merrill, he plunged his sword into Amra, who was lying, still gasping for air, on the ground next to him.

With a laugh, the man removed his sword and began to turn to walk away. A moment later he collapsed onto the ground, a sword pushed through his chest from behind. He shivered in pain for a moment, blood seeping out of his mouth, and looked up into the ferocious eyes of Renya.

“Fen’Harel take you,” she said before spitting on him. Whatever he tried to say back to her never made it past his lips.

Renya was next to Amra in an instant, cradling her as Merrill ran to get help. Amra reached up and Renya leaned in, letting Amra stroke her cheek. Her wound was serious, and when Amra coughed deep red blood came out of her mouth.

“Renya…”

“Emm’andaran. I’m here.”

“…Renya…”

“I’m here, Amra. Hush. Help is coming.”

“…Renya… please…”

“What is it?”

Amra weakly cupped Renya’s cheek again. She was shaking in pain, but as her eyes held on to Renya’s gaze a small smile tugged on the corners of her mouth.

“Renya?”

“…Amra?”

Slowly, Amra’s hand slid from Renya’s cheek, leaving streaks of blood down her face. With a final shuddering breath, Amra lay still. Footsteps announced the appearance of Marethari, Merrill, and Hahren Lestina.

“She… she is dead,” Renya said numbly, frowning as if confused.

“Oh, Amra…” Marethari murmured, kneeling to close her eyes.

“The raiders have become braver,” Lestina commented quietly. Renya let herself be guided away. Tamlen came up and spoke to her a bit, and Renya nodded along to the conversation before he gripped her shoulder, looking somber, and went to help Paivel prepare for the uthenera ceremonies.

Later, Merrill appeared, joining her at the edge of camp where she was staring at the forest.

“Why does this happen? Why do they hate us?” Renya asked.

“I don’t know,” Merrill said. “I’m sure there are nice ones.”

“He killed her for no reason. They attack us for no reason.”

Merrill nodded and leaned against Renya. “I know. I was just trying to be optimistic.”

Renya sighed. “Ma serannas.”

“If we ever have children, we should name her Amra.”

Renya nodded before she fully registered what Merrill had said. She shook her head as if to clear it. “We?” she asked incredulously, turning to her.

“Oh! No, I mean…” Merrill stammered, turning pink. “I mean, when we’re bonded. You know, to other people. And… and having children, and… Amra she… she was always very nice, and…”

Renya laughed in spite of herself. “Vin, yes. Amra is a good name. It would be nice to remember her that way.”

Merrill took a shuddering breath. “Yes, it would,” she agreed in a small voice.

With another smile, Renya glanced at her and knocked their shoulders together.

***

“Renya.”

Renya looked up from where she was mending Nolith’s armor. Master Elrerion rarely spoke with her and she rose respectfully.

“This…” He sighed. “I know you are mourning your friend, but I have never seen an elf use a sword like that before. In the days of Arlathan, there were warriors who used swords and dar’thanu, but these warriors also had magic. To put your trust in a blade without the gift, and without training, and to do so well…”

“Don’t encourage her, Elrerion,” Ashalle said firmly, walking up to them. “She is to be a loremaster. I have lost my bonded to fighting, and Nolith is your apprentice now, isn’t he?”

Elrerion nodded politely to her. “Ir abelas. I only meant –”

“To compliment her. Yes, and I’m sure she appreciates it.”

“Ma serannas, Hahren,” Renya said when Ashalle pointedly looked at her.

“Well, in that case I bid you a good afternoon,” he replied before nodding to both of them and walking away.

“I wish to be a hunter, Mamae.”

“Nonsense, Mahariel,” Marethari said, walking up to them. “You have keeper blood in you. It’s only right that we honor that by having you study our lore. It wouldn’t be right for Radavur’s daughter to be nothing more than a hunter.”

“But…”

“My final word, da’len.”

Renya frowned. “Yes, Hahren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters, guys. Unlike "I Will Call You Home," this one isn't fully written so I want to write far enough ahead that the story still has continuity as we go on before I post. But yes. Poor Amra...
> 
> ***
> 
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	8. Personal

Ashalle held out a hand to stop Renya from leaving where they were sitting. She hardened her heart when she saw Renya’s glance dart over to where Merrill was reading alone.

“You really should stop spending so much time with her.” She watched Renya’s face fall, but didn’t lower her hand.

“Why?”

Ashalle was surprised at the defensive tone.

“It’s not right. She’s the first. She’ll be the hahren one day, and…” She faltered. Renya knew very well that hahrens and firsts had to stay somewhat aloof, to maintain the objective eye necessary for leading a clan of elves. Aloof, but caring. Present, but still somehow distant. And…

“If you wish to be a hunter, then… Renya, you know it wouldn’t be proper. And what would it do to the clan?”

Renya’s eyes flashed and she tried to suppress the angry clench of her jaw.

“If I am to be a _loremaster,_ Mamae, then my friendship with Merrill will not single-handedly destabilize the clan.” Her jaw clenched again. “Or am I allowed to be a hunter now?”

Ashalle slapped Renya’s cheek lightly, not enough to hurt but enough to make a point. She frowned at Renya’s shocked look.

“Watch your tone, da’len. You may have impressed Elrerion but I am still your mother.”

They glared at each other for a few seconds until Renya finally dropped her gaze.

“Vin, Mamae,” she said with forced deference. Ashalle shook her head.

“Why don’t you go spend some time with Tamlen instead? He is-”

“I _like_ Merrill, Mamae.” The words hung there for a moment, Renya trying to not look as embarrassed as she felt at the unintended implication and Ashalle watching her carefully. The older elf rubbed her forehead unconsciously, thinking.

“Well,” she said carefully. “You… were friends when you were fledglings. It isn’t fair to ask you to stop now just because your vallaslin ceremony is a few years away.”

Renya’s eyebrows shot up and she started to smile. Ashalle grabbed her arm.

“Do not tell the hahren I said so,” she hissed, leaning in. “It is still wrong, what you are doing. She is still the first.”

Renya’s smile faltered a little, but at her unconscious glance to where Merrill was still sitting reading, Ashalle released her. They looked at each other for a moment longer before Ashalle pointedly turned away and started walking back toward their aravel alone.

***

“Hello, Merrill.”

The first jumped a little. “How do you do that?” she hissed.

Renya grinned lopsidedly but didn’t answer. “Are you busy? Can I join you?”

Merrill looked down at the book in her lap and idly turned a page. “I’m just reading.”

“Oh.” Renya’s eyes lingered on the book before she smiled, shook her head, and plopped down next to Merrill. “So what is the book about?”

Merrill smiled at the pages shyly. “It’s… nothing special. I’m reading about the enslavement of the elves and Halamshiral.”

Renya blinked. “Oh.”

With a chuckle, Merrill closed the book. “What have you done today?”

Renya cleared her throat, feeling foolish. “I… Amra’s mamae gave me her slingshot because mine broke when I tried to shoot some targets with Tamlen.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “And… I helped Hahren Ilen tan some hides, and… and helped Ashalle repair Nolith’s armor. It’s… it’s nothing like what you’re learning…”

“Maybe you could show me one day?”

“Ir tel’him?”

“Maybe… maybe you could show me one day?” Merrill repeated, looking back down at the book and fidgeting with the cover. She didn’t see the uncomfortable look that passed over Renya’s features.

“Why would you want to learn that? You… you are the first.”

“I… Just… it’s…” Merrill stammered to a halt, hating that those words had - finally - come out of Renya’s mouth. “Because you’re my friend,” she finally murmured to herself.

Renya smiled, feeling an odd fluttering in her stomach. “Ma nuvenin, Merrill.”

***

Merrill walked across the camp to watch the hunter apprentices train with Master Elrerion. It was amazing how silently they moved, and how sure-footed they always were, regardless of what they were doing. Hopping from stone to stone, firing arrows, they all moved with concentrated purpose. Footsteps came up behind her, and she turned around.

“Hello, Merrill.”

“Hello, Renya.”

She smiled as Renya sat down. They sat silently for a few minutes, both studying the movements of the hunters.v  
“I’ll be able to do that one day,” Renya said. Merrill glanced at her.

“You’ll be good at it,” she replied politely.

Renya nodded absentmindedly.

“I’m going to protect our people.”

“Ir tel’him?”

Renya looked over at Merrill. “I’m going to protect our people. I’m going to become a hunter and protect our people.” She nodded to herself, aware of the slingshot tucked into her belt.

Merrill frowned. “I just heard Marethari and Ashalle talking to you about becoming a loremaster the other day.”

Renya rubbed her forehead in frustration. “Vin, a conversation they’ve been having with me since I was small.” She shook her head.

“You don’t wish to be a loremaster?”

Renya turned to face Merrill more fully. “They wish for me to be a loremaster because they really wish for me to be the first,” she said bluntly. Merrill looked away, stung. But Renya continued. “My father was the keeper. If I was the child of anyone else they wouldn’t push me toward lorekeeping so hard. They didn’t say that Nolith should be a lorekeeper, I noticed. Or Tamlen.” She crossed her arms angrily. “My father swore to protect people, and he did. I want to protect people, like he did. I can’t do that by telling stories at… at a campfire.” She dropped her voice as Hahren Paivel walked by.

Merrill continued staring at the hunters training. Renya misinterpreted her silence.

“Would you be cross with me if I became a hunter? I will be something else if you’d prefer.”

Merrill startled. “What? No, why would I be cross?”

“Would you… still be friends with me?”

“Renya, of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?”

Renya swallowed. “…because you are the first.”

Merrill shook her head. “We’re friends.”

A little silence fell and Renya smiled down at her knees.

“Vin. Yes. Good. Then I’ll be a hunter.”

“I think it’s great that you want to protect our people. I’d love to know that you were protecting me.” Merrill blinked when she realized what she had said. “I mean… since… you know, I’m…”

“The first,” Renya teased with a grin. “Am I to be your personal hunter, then?”

“No!” Merrill answered a little too quickly. “No! I just meant that, well, you would be a hunter, and you would be protecting the clan. And I’m part of the clan, so you would be protecting me. Because we’re all here in the clan.” She muttered herself into silence. “Sorry, babbling.”

Renya chuckled. “I like when you ramble.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.”

Merrill grinned. “Well, good. If you’re going to be my personal hunter, you’ll have to listen to it a lot, then.”

She laughed when Renya looked over at her in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Renya just sass Ashalle? Did Ashalle just passively give her blessing to the Renya/Merrill ship? Did Merrill just openly flirt with Renya? What will Marethari think?? See you all next week, guys :)
> 
> ***
> 
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	9. Desires

Merrill watched Tamlen and Renya wrestle. Nolith had shown Renya a few fighting moves, and Renya had immediately turned around and challenged Tamlen to a fight. She tried to not feel jealous as the tussled. She supposed she should be glad Renya spoke to her at all. It seemed a day didn’t go by when Renya wasn’t called on to help one of the hahrens with some task or another. Renya had, apparently, been correct. The fact that she was the old keeper’s daughter made her rather popular, and if Merrill was honest, Renya rarely did anything to discourage that respect.

Just the other day, Renya had helped Ilen and his apprentice repair one of the aravels that had broken on their last journey, abandoning her own daily tasks because the hahren had asked for her assistance. She had no interest in learning about herding halla, but the halla master had enlisted her anyway when one of the halla had become uncharacteristically restless.

She was, if Merrill was going to continue being honest, performing many of the duties the first was often called on to complete. After all, learning the different tasks necessary for the clan was part of the job of the one who would become keeper, not a lowly hunter.

And it wasn’t that Merrill didn’t know how to do these things, but… She sighed. It was clear that Renya completed the tasks asked of her because she had been asked, not because she had some lingering resentment about not being the first. She seemed genuinely devoted to helping the clan in any way she could. Indeed, that was still her motivation for wanting to become a hunter.

She shook her head and returned to the present. It wasn’t, however, her motivation for wresting with Tamlen, of that she was sure.

“Finally!” Tamlen said, pinning Renya to the ground. Merrill felt sick as Renya wrapped her leg around Tamlen’s waist. Whatever else Tamlen was going to say was cut off by a yelp and a thump.

“How did you do that?” he demanded when Renya had flipped them so their positions were reversed. While he wasn’t able to replicate what she had done (Merrill felt even sicker seeing him wrap his leg around her), he was still stronger than she was, and managed to push her off him. They scrambled to their feet again.

“I think I am done for the day, lethallin,” Renya said, holding up her hand. She checked the sun’s arc across the sky. “I promised Ashalle that I would help her finish the washing.”

“Ma nuvenin,” Tamlen said. He wagged his finger at her playfully. “But I know you’re only saying that because you don’t want to lose to me.”

Renya laughed and smacked his arm. “Vin, lethallin, that is exactly it.”

Merrill dove behind a statue as the two friends walked by, idly chatting. She swallowed the lump in her throat. For the first time in years, she wanted to go back to Nevarra.

***

“Mamae, I want to ask you something.”

Ashalle looked over at Renya. Her eyes were shimmering in the light of the lantern.

“What is it, da’len?”

Renya took a deep breath. “Would you be angry with me if I became a hunter?”

Ashalle hesitated, considering what to say. Renya drooped a little.

“I want to protect people. Like my father did. I don’t have anything of his, or even of my mother’s, so… the only thing I can do is be like the person you said he was. I… I just can’t see how I can do that and be a loremaster at the same time.”

Ashalle’s throat tightened a little.

“I… I didn’t realize that was why you wished to be a hunter, da’len.” She took a deep breath. “I… we thought that you didn’t believe yourself worthy of anything more.”

Renya glanced at her. “Is there something wrong with being a hunter?”

“No, da’len. Hunters are very honorable people. You know them. Would it be shameful to be like them?”

“No, Mamae.”

Ashalle nodded. “That’s right.” She smiled and put her hand on Renya’s shoulder. “You’ve thought about this a long time, haven’t you?”

“Yes, Mamae.”

“Then, if this is what you want, you will be a hunter. And I will always be very proud of you,” Ashalle replied, leaning over and kissing Renya on the cheek. Renya grinned.

“Ma serannas, Mamae.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... one week became two. I had a burst of ideas and wound up having to come back and fix a few things, so hopefully it was worth the wait!
> 
> ***
> 
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	10. The First Time

Renya sat in the grass with a short knife, carving a piece of dark wood she had found. Merrill was next to her, pretending to not watch her but silently marveling at how skillfully Renya slowly carved a passable depiction of Andruil.

“Where did you learn to do that?” she asked, leaning closer so their shoulders touched. Renya glanced at her and smiled, feeling an odd but pleasant fluttering in her stomach at the contact.

“I… It’s something I saw one of Master Ilen’s apprentices doing. I… I thought I’d try.” She surveyed her carving seriously. “It’s not much, but it’s fun.”

Another elf came and sat down next to them. She was from another clan, but Renya and Merrill greeted her. The elf was staring at Renya carefully.

“Is it… Renya, right?”

Renya frowned until recognition slowly crept onto her features.

“Mithra?” She grinned. “Wow! I almost didn’t recognize you!”

Renya stood and grabbed the other elf’s upper arms in greeting, and Mithra copied the movement.

“You’ve grown up!” Mithra said with a laugh, releasing her. She appraised Renya, who now stood a few inches taller than she, although they were still shorter than full-grown elves.

“And you.” Renya laughed. “And 'grown up'? Is that why they are keeping us from the important meetings?”

Mithra laughed and lightly punched her shoulder. She eyed the slingshot tucked into Renya’s belt.

“Are you planning on becoming a hunter, too, sister?”

Renya smiled proudly. “Vin, yes. I am going to protect our people.”

With a playful grin, Mithra pulled a slingshot of her own from her belt. “Then you’d be okay with a little friendly competition?”

Merrill put her hand on Renya’s arm, not wanting her to go off with the other elves. “Renya, I don’t think this is a good idea…”

But Renya stayed where she was, smiling at her. “Tel’enfanim.” She looked at Mithra. “You’re on! Where are the targets?”

“I have a few set up over there,” Mithra said, nodded over her shoulder. “We’ve been practicing. Ten shots?”

“Ten shots, vin, yes, okay.”

They set off toward the targets, picking up smooth stones along the way. Merrill was by Renya’s side again, absentmindedly fussing her hair.

“You know I’m going to have to go soon…” Merrill said with meaning.

Renya’s smile faltered for a moment. Merrill saw it and reconsidered.

“But… but I can watch you win, right?” She smiled as Renya’s smile brightened again.

“Vin, yes,” she said confidently, pretending to not see Mithra’s challenging smirk.

At the targets, Mithra and Renya took their places next to each other.

“Ready?” Mithra said with a grin.

“Renya…?”

Renya turned. Merrill put her hand on her shoulder and leaned in a little, but stopped when she saw Renya’s eyebrows raise. She rubbed her nose once up and down Renya’s cheek.

“G-good luck.”

Renya looked like she had been hit on the head, but only for a moment before a grin split her features and she turned back to the targets, still smiling.

Mithra rolled her eyes a little, but laughed. “Ready _now?_ ”

“Vin, yes. Let’s go.”

There were no targets. Instead, the two elves called out things to aim for while frantically trying to out-shoot the other, either through keen-eyed targets or sheer dexterity. It was hard to tell who was more accurate, although Renya tended to grumble more after her shots were released.

“Come on, Renya, you’ll have to –whoa!”

For another elf had tumbled out of the forest into their paths. He ducked as a small stone went whizzing past his ear.

“No! Stop!” he cried. He stayed cowering a moment until it was clear no more rocks were being shot, and then stood. Renya and Mithra looked at each other and shrugged. Neither of them knew this elf.

“I’m Fenarel,” he said, catching the look. “I was supposed to be looking for elfroot for the healers, but I must have lost my footing…” He indicated the low, but sharp, drop-off from which he had just tumbled. He eyed the slingshots in their hands. “Sorry I interrupted.”

“It’s alright,” Renya said, tucking her slingshot back into her belt. She turned to Mithra and smiled innocently. “We’ll just have to have a rematch some day.”

Mithra laughed. “That’s because you know you were losing, Mahariel.” But her tone was friendly when she said it. Renya grunted but didn’t otherwise comment.

“What clan are you from?”

“Lavellan,” Fenarel replied.

Mithra crossed her arms. “Oh. The shemlen-loving clan.”

“They are worth trading with,” Fenarel said a little defensively.

“You forget what they did – do – to our people, falon,” Renya replied darkly. He frowned.

“I don’t,” he said sharply, crossing his arms. “They leave us alone, we leave them alone. And trading never hurt anyone.”

“You betray your people,” Mithra began.

“And what of you?” Fenarel shot back. “How has hiding in the forest benefit the People?”

Mithra’s lip twitched and Renya balled her hands into fists.

“It keeps us alive, for starters!” Mithra shouted.

At that moment, Merrill appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Perhaps the northern humans don’t attack the Dalish,” she said evenly, holding her hands out between Fenarel and the two other elves. “If they didn’t attack us, maybe things would be different.”

A little silence fell. Mithra looked torn, wanting to reply angrily but not disagree with the first of another clan. Finally, Renya sighed.

“You’re right, Merrill,” she said politely, although she didn’t look totally convinced. Merrill sighed but let the matter drop.

“Ma serannas, rajelan,” Fenarel said. He looked between the three elves in front of him. “What clan are you from?”

“Arani.”

“Sabrae,” said Merrill and Renya together. Fenarel’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really? Then it is doubly nice to meet you,” he said. He sobered quickly. “We heard that the Sabrae have few healers. My… my parents are both healers in our clan, and so we are moving to be with the Sabrae.”

“Your whole family?” Merrill asked with the slightest frown.

“Vin. It’s only elves with the gift who must leave their families behind, and I'm grateful for that,” Fenarel replied absentmindedly, looking over Renya’s shoulder. “You’ll have to excuse me, but my parents will need what little I’ve found.” He smiled at the three elves. “It was nice meeting you!” And he trotted away.

“Are you okay?” Renya asked Merrill with a little frown.

“Vin, yes. I’m fine,” Merrill replied, hugging herself a bit. She sighed and shrugged, smiling again. “Yes,” she said a little more calmly, putting her hand on Renya’s upper arm. “Everything is fine. But I have to go, too,” she added, glancing up at the sun’s placement in the sky. “The hahrens and firsts will be going to their meeting place soon.”

She gave Renya’s arm a little squeeze before setting off in another direction. Renya watched her go with an unconscious smile on her face. Mithra laughed and the smile faded.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile, hasn't it? I can't promise I will upload every week (yet), but I do promise, from the bottom of my heart, that I will continue posting until this story is over. I don't believe in leaving things half-finished.
> 
> ***
> 
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	11. A Rest and Race (Dragon 9:20)

_Dragon 9:20_

The fire was low and the elves had broken off into small groups. Some were lying on the ground, pointing to the stars and telling stories, others were talking quietly by the campfire. Tamlen had fallen asleep, but Renya was still awake, gazing up at the stars contentedly. Merrill smiled in spite of herself. Without really feeling comfortable, she walked over and lay down next to Renya, who glanced over and smiled at her.

“I… haven’t seen you around recently,” Renya observed. Merrill nodded.

“Yes, I know,” she replied bluntly, making Renya smile a little. “I am learning… I need to begin thinking about crafting my staff, which I’m a little nervous about.”

Renya exhaled in a soft chuckle. “You know practically everything about our lore. I’m sure you’ll make the best staff the Dalish have ever seen.”

“I don’t know practically everything!” Merrill protested, sitting up with a huff. “There’s so much still out there! I wanted to study more at the arlathvhen last year, but Marethari wouldn’t let me linger in the Dales unattended…”

Renya smiled. “Vin. Next time, I’ll be a hunter and I’ll be able to go with the hahrens to their meeting, and then you can drag me to all the runes you want.”

Merrill’s heart fluttered a little. “Is that a promise?”

Renya smiled easily and lay down again. “Of course it is.” A little silence fell. “So tell me where you all went off to for those few days when you left the rest of us behind? I want to know what awaits me once I’m an adult.” She glanced at Merrill.

With a little smile, Merrill lay down on her side, staring at Renya. “You’d really love it. We went to this place called Rush of Sighs… Renya, it was so beautiful…” She put her hand on Renya’s arm to make her point. Renya turned her head and Merrill withdrew slightly.

“Rush of Sighs? Very poetic.”

Merrill put her hand back on Renya’s arm tentatively, looking relieved. “Vin, and you wouldn’t believe the lush forests there, and –”

“If you’re going to keep talking,” Tamlen grumbled from under his arm. “I’ll get up and leave.”

Merrill frowned, but Renya laughed and gave him a little shove.

“Go on then,” she said. “I’m learning about the Rush of Sighs!”

“Hm.” But he simply rolled on his side.

“Are the forests much different there, lethallan?” Renya whispered.

Merrill grinned lopsidedly, feeling pleased. “Oh, yes. You’ll have to see them one day…”

***

Merrill watched Tamlen and Renya stand on the edge of the pond. A few of the clanmembers had decided to take the day to go down to the edge of the water and collect resources and, if time permitted, relax at the water’s edge. It was the middle of the day, and most of the elves were resting.

Except Tamlen and Renya. The two of them appeared to be arguing, pointing at the water. Merrill walked closer.

“…but I beat you in the footrace the other day!” Renya was saying. Tamlen huffed.

“And yet I made it across the training grounds faster than Master Elrerion’s apprentices,” he replied. They glared at each other for a moment, and then Renya grinned.

“So… race you to the other side?”

Tamlen’s grin matched hers. “You bet.”

Merrill walked up a little more quickly.

“Merrill,” Renya said with a smile. “Will you time us?”

“Oh… I…” Merrill wasn’t able to cobble together a response fast enough in the light of both Renya and Tamlen stripping down to their smallclothes.

“Mythal’enaste,” Tamlen said, glancing Renya up and down. Merrill balled her hands into fists.

“‘Mythal’enaste’ yourself,” Renya responded before sticking her tongue out at him. He laughed and they walked to the edge of the water, back to bickering.

Merrill watched them run into the pond, splashing each other, before they both began swimming. They were both strong swimmers, and it took a few minutes before Merrill realized she was supposed to be counting. But as she watched them swim away, she felt her stomach tighten oddly. With a glance behind her, she tiptoed behind a large rock and removed her mage’s robes before dipping a toe into the water. It was warm enough, and so she splashed in and set off after the two friends.

All sorts of wild thoughts filled her head. Maybe Renya would get a cramp, and she would have to pull her back to shore because Tamlen had swum ahead. Maybe Renya would suddenly decide she would rather stay and swim with Merrill and abandon the idea of racing altogether. Maybe…

“Merrill!” Renya called with a pant, seeing her swim up with a determined look on her face.

“Are you here to race with us?” Tamlen asked between puffs of air. “Hey! Where are you going?”

For the first, lost in her thoughts, had caught up to the two elves and was now leaving them behind, her eyes fixed on the far shore. Renya and Tamlen stopped swimming at the same time and gawked after her. They shared a look before shrugging and swimming after her.

They met her on the shore.

“That was impressive!” Tamlen said. “I didn’t know you could swim so fast!”

“Um… yes. Right…” Merrill mumbled, feeling foolish. She glanced at Renya.

“I guess our times are nothing compared to yours,” Renya added with a wink. Merrill smiled and looked down at her feet. She hugged herself, shivering a little.

“Are you cold?”

“We could swim back,” Tamlen offered. “The water is warmer, and it’ll keep us moving until we’re back with the others.”

“Oh… oh I… if you wanted to stay here, I can go back myself…” Merrill said awkwardly.

“Nonsense,” Renya replied. “We wanted to see who was faster, and we have our answer: you.” And she laughed.

“Oh, I…”

“Come on, let’s go back.” And before Merrill could say anything, Renya put her hand on the first’s shoulder and steered her back toward the water. They paddled out a little and Merrill stopped.

“You okay?” Renya asked.

Merrill shook her head, treading water.

“I’m not sure I can swim that quickly back to the other shore,” she replied quietly. Renya considered her, then turned to Tamlen.

“Go on,” she said with a little nod. “I’ll stay with her.”

Tamlen looked at Merrill seriously. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Merrill nodded, smiling a little. He really wasn’t a bad elf, after all.

“Ready to go, lethallan?” Renya asked when Tamlen had left them.

“It’s… it’s nice here, isn’t it?”

Renya smiled crookedly. “Vin.” She swam a few arm-lengths and stopped. “We should still get back, though.”

Merrill nodded, wishing she could come up with another reason to stay. It had been a long time since she and Renya had been alone together, and the thought of going back to the clan already – when she had botched her chance of spending time with her by racing to the other shore – was disappointing. She looked over her shoulder at the shore they had left, as if checking for belongings left behind.

“Renya,” she began, turning back. “Did you ever think that maybe-?”

She stopped talking. Other than the now-distant figure of Tamlen, she was alone in the lake.

There was a loud splash behind her, and she barely had time to turn around when hands grabbed her shoulders.

“Hi Merrill!”

Merrill yelped in surprised, and then smacked a grinning Renya on the shoulder as she wiped wet hair out of her eyes, splashing her a little.

“What was that for??”

Renya’s smile faltered. But Merrill lunged at her and she tried to get out of the way, a little laugh escaping her. She swam a few strokes away and watched Merrill quizzically.

“Vin, that’s right. You’d better start swimming, Mahariel,” Merrill said, leaning forward and slowly swimming toward Renya. Renya started swimming away backwards, her grin creeping back onto her face.

“Is that so?”

“Vin.”

“Or what?”

Merrill sprung at Renya, who laughed and tried to pull away, but neither were as agile in the water as on the land, so Merrill only barely grabbed Renya’s arm, and Renya wasn’t able to get out of the way fast enough, anyway. They started laughing, trying to both swim back to shore and inhibit the other from getting ahead of them.

With a laugh, Merrill managed to get around Renya and struck out a few strokes before she felt a warm hand grab her ankle and pull her backward (or, perhaps Renya was pulled forward), and then felt the warm hands on her waist tugging her upright and backward even further.

“I don’t think so,” Renya murmured in her ear, wrapping her arms around Merrill’s middle and spinning them both around until they were facing the shore they had left.

Merrill unthinkingly covered Renya’s hands with her own, for a brief moment hoping she would never let go, when suddenly they both realized how close their bodies were pressed into each others’. There was a pause, and Merrill had a moment to register the feeling of Renya pressed against her back, arms around her middle and breath at her neck, before they both carefully let go other the other.

“Ir… ir abelas…” Renya offered, rubbing the back of her neck and turning pink. “We… we should get back to the camp.” She was carefully avoiding eye-contact.

Merrill, too, felt the heat in her cheeks. “R-right,” she replied. “I… I think I can swim the rest of the way.”

“Vin. Yes. Good.”

They made the rest of the journey in silence, each keeping a healthy distance between them as they swam side by side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw...
> 
>  
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
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	12. Two Storms

Thunder and lightning cracked across the sky, and Renya huddled in the aravel with Ashalle, Nolith, Tamlen, and Tamlen’s parents.

“It’s so loud,” Nolith grumbled.

“The storm is getting closer,” Ashalle replied, her ears twitching a little.

Tamlen’s father sighed. “I appreciate you letting us stay here, Ashalle. With the dry rot on the wall that still needs replacing, we would have hardly been able to keep the rain out.”

“You’re welcome, but it’s really not a problem.”

“I wish I had caught Merrill before the storm started,” Renya murmured to Tamlen.

“Vin. Didn’t you say she told you her parents’ aravel was struck by lightning once? I can’t image…” He shuddered a little.

“She’s the first,” his mother said sternly. “It’s not right for her to be sharing aravels with anyone, now that she is reaching adulthood. She’ll fare just fine on her own, or I’m sure she’d seek out Marethari’s company.”

Tamlen and Renya shared a look. Renya nodded slightly and gave a non-committal grunt after she had looked away.

“Plus, it would be nice for the two of you to have a sit-down conversation that doesn’t involve bows, knives, or boasts,” Tamlen’s father added.

The friends shared another look, this one even more incredulous. Renya glanced at her mother, who was smiling slightly, but also watching her carefully.

“Vin. Yes, I don’t talk to Tamlen nearly enough,” Renya deadpanned. Tamlen snorted a laugh. They both knew they were called Falon’din and Dirthamen; too close to ever be separated.

“Now, Renya…”

“Thoduin,” Ashalle cut in sharply. “You are in my aravel but you will not reprimand my daughter in front of me.”

Renya suppressed a little smile, looking down in the hopes that no one would see it.

“I’m only saying that it wouldn’t cause harm for the two of them to sit down with each other like other elves their age…” Thoduin began.

“I’m going to check on Merrill,” Renya said, rising and shooting an apologetic look at Tamlen. He nodded in understanding.

“Da’len, it’s pouring outside…”

Renya looked at her mother. “It isn’t too far. I will find my way,” she said with a little smile. It faltered when she saw Ashalle’s face change. It was suddenly a mixture of shock and tight sadness.

“I… I will be back in the morning, Mamae. Unless you want me here tonight?”

Something seemed to rouse Ashalle from her thoughts. She smiled at Renya, although her eyes were still sad. “It’s kind of you to check on your friend,” she said. “Be swift, da’len.”

Renya grinned. “Melava somniar, Mamae.” And, with a peck on the cheek, Renya jumped out of the doorway into the storm.

Ashalle had been right. It was pouring, and Renya could hardly see in front of her. She made her way by memory to Merrill’s aravel, and on the way ran into another elf, one of the loremaster apprentices.

“Are you going to check in on the first, da’len?” she said. Renya nodded, too soaked to bristle at the term used by an elf no more than a year older than she.

The apprentice shook her head. “I wish you luck!”

“Ma serannas…?”

She continued on her way, stumbling through the wet darkness. Eventually she reached the landship, and rapped on the door. There was no answer, but Renya suspected that perhaps Merrill couldn’t hear it above the noise of the storm. After a moment’s consideration, she tried the handle, pushed open the door, and tumbled in amid another crash of thunder and someone yelling something at her.

“ _…told you I didn’t need anyone coming in here and_ oh, hello, Renya. I… I wasn’t expecting you…”

Renya turned around, soaked to the bone and water dripping off of her ears. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, and she stood leaning against the wall of the aravel panting from her journey.

“It is very wet outside.”

Merrill, who had been staring at her awkwardly, began to laugh. Renya cracked a grin and walked closer, but Merrill squeaked and held up her hand to halt Renya’s progress.

“No no no. You stay right there.” She considered Renya for a moment. “Here. I-I know how to… to dry you off…”

“Hm. Are you trying to get me out of my clothes, Merrill?” Renya teased.

“No,” Merrill replied bluntly, concentrating on finding the book that had the correct spell in it and not on any other implication of Renya’s words. She picked up a tome and opened to a page, studied some of the words, and then looked up.

“Put out your arms,” she said. Renya obeyed, and Merrill quickly performed the incantation that almost instantly dried Renya’s clothes.

“Ma serannas. That’s much better.”

“Are you here for a reason?”

Renya smiled crookedly. “I didn’t want you to be alone during the storm. Are you angry with me?”

“Oh. No. That’s… that’s very nice of you. I… I was actually about to go to sleep. You can… go back to your aravel.”

“Are you really going to send me back out there?” Renya deadpanned, arching an eyebrow. Another clap of thunder shook the landship.

“Oh! Oh, no, of course not…”

“I will stay over here, far away from the first…” Renya’s tone had changed, but it was hard to tell if it was sad, offended, or resigned.

“No! No, that’s not what I meant. You can sleep next to… You could sleep right over here, let me just set up the extra blanket…” Merrill said, offering a spot closer to her bedroll than the door, but far enough away that she wouldn’t feel too scandalous.

Whatever Renya was thinking, she didn’t comment. “Ma serannas,” she was all she said, once she had laid down.

“Sathem,” Merrill replied. She blew out the candle and climbed into her own bedroll. Silence fell and the breathing of the two elves fell in and out of sync.

“Renya?” Merrill whispered some time later. Olive glints sought out the brighter green glints across the room.

“Merrill?”

“Ma… ma serannas. Thank you for coming to stay with me. I… I really appreciate it.”

A long silence fell.

“Don’t mention it, lethallan.”

Neither could see the other’s grin.

***

“Never again, Merrill, do you understand me?” Marethari’s voice was firm.

Merrill sighed. “But…”

“My final word.”

_“But…”_

“And you, Mahariel.” Marethari shook her head. “You should know better than to sneak into the first’s aravel in the middle of the night.”

“I…” Renya sighed and looked down. “Yes, Hahren…”

“Never again, Mahariel. I never want to find out you had been there ever again.”

Renya, still looking at the ground, clenched her jaw a few times before nodding dully, pretending to not see Merrill’s shocked disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Renya and Merrill...
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support us on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	13. A Hunt (Dragon 9:21)

_Dragon 9:21_

“And a giant boar came loping out of the trees,” Nolith was describing to the crowd of elves around him. He had just returned triumphantly from his final hunt as an apprentice, and was regaling the clan with the story of the deed.

“At first it didn’t see us, but I made sure to step on a twig to give it warning. I never expected it to charge at us!” he said with a laugh as the other elves gasped.

Renya smiled and shook her head slightly. Merrill had accused her of showing off the other day, but she was nothing compared to her brother.

“But you had other hunters with you?” another elf, Meviel, asked. Nolith shook his head.

“No. Of course Master Elrerion was nearby, but hunters must prove they can face anything on their own!” he said, puffing out his chest. Renya opened her mouth to disagree. No, hunters were supposed to show they could provide for and protect the clan. Ashalle put her hand on Renya’s knee.

“Let him have his moment, da’len,” she said with a doting smile.

Eventually the crowd dispersed, and Nolith was left sitting with Ashalle and Renya.

“You’re a hunter now, da’len,” Ashalle said proudly, squeezing Nolith’s hand.

“Vin, yes, Mamae.” His grin was brighter than the campfire before them. He glanced at Renya playfully. “And maybe I’ll show you a thing or two. Are you still hoping to train with Elrerion next year after your ceremony?”

“Master Elrerion,” Ashalle corrected gently. “And tonight is about you, Nolith,” she added before Renya could say anything. But Renya caught her brother’s eye and nodded. Nolith’s grin widened a bit, but he turned back to his mother.

“Vin, Mamae. Master Elrerion. He says that he expects me to be able to lead a hunting group of my own within the next year!”

“That’s wonderful! And a great honor.” Ashalle looked introspective for a moment, then rose and excused herself. Nolith’s grin faded.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked Renya. Renya shrugged, watching Ashalle’s retreating back with concern. They sat quietly for a few moments.

“Wasn’t Dadae… he led his own group of hunters, too, didn’t he?” Renya offered softly. Nolith’s face fell, but Renya patted his knee. “I’m sure she’s just proud of you,” she said reassuringly.

“Vin,” Nolith replied. He looked distracted, but managed a smile. “I am proud to honor him.”

“You should be, da’len.” Ashalle had returned, and she sat next to her son. “I want you to have this,” she said, handing him a beautifully-carved hunting knife. “This was your father’s, and it served him well for many years.”

Nolith took the blade reverently, eyes wide. He looked up at his mother. “Are you sure you want me to have this?”

Ashalle smiled and patted his cheek, a few tears trickling down her cheeks. “I’m sure, da’vhenan. You carry his looks, you carry his talents, and now you carry his blade.” She rose again and kissed Nolith on the forehead. “I’m proud to be your mother.”

“Ma serannas, Mamae. I… ma serannas.”

Ashalle left, leaving Renya and Nolith alone. Nolith took the knife out of its sheath and stroked the blade gently, looking sad and proud all at the same time. He finally took a deep breath, put the blade back in its sheath, and rose.

“I think I will return home. Are you going to stay here for a while?”

“Vin, yes,” Renya replied. She had seen Merrill trying to catch her eye and wanted to talk to her.

“Ma nuvenin. Melava somniar.”

“Melava somniar.”

She watched Nolith walk away without really seeing him. It was nice to see him so happy and proud, but her mind lingered on the blade that Ashalle had given him. She had nothing of her parents’: no blade, no ring, no necklace, nothing. She didn’t even have any stories of them to tell. The clan never spoke of her mother, and the few times she heard her father’s name whispered had been when she was a small fledgling. Even then, it was to reference that he had been the keeper, and usually included – she inwardly groaned – some sort of comment on her lack of magic ability.

“Hello, Renya.”

Renya looked up. “Hello, Meviel.”

Meviel sat down next to her and hugged herself, shivering a little.

“Winter is coming early this year,” she commented with a shake of her head. Renya sighed and nodded. Meviel watched her carefully. “You must be proud of your brother.”

Renya smiled at that. “I am. But there was no way he wouldn’t pass his test. He is a great archer and a strong man.” She shot her a teasing look. “I saw you watching him tell his story.”

“He wasn’t the one I was watching,” Meviel said lightly, looking at Renya’s eyes and then glancing away.

“Oh.” Renya could feel heat rising in her neck.

“I hope I’m interrupting something.”

Meviel looked up at Merrill in confusion. “You _hope_ you’re interrupting something?”

“Did I say that?” Merrill asked, looked flustered. “I’m sure that’s not really what I said. At any rate, I wanted to congratulate Nolith, but I see he’s gone, so could you tell him that for me?” She paused for breath.

“Ma nuvenin,” Renya said, watching Merrill with some concern. The first was looking at Renya and Meviel with a pained expression, but she seemed to be trying to hide it. “Are you alright?”

“What? Me? Oh! Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.”

Meviel tried to catch Renya’s eye, but she was too busy looking at Merrill to notice. Merrill hovered for a moment, then plopped down next to Renya, staring straight ahead into the campfire. Meviel coughed indignantly.

“We were just talking about how the winter seems to be coming sooner than last year,” Renya offered after a few long, silent seconds had passed.

“Yes,” Merrill said unenthusiastically. “It certainly seems that way.”

Renya glanced between the two elves in confusion. “So… do you really believe Nolith’s hunt happened the way he said?”

“Nolith is a good hunter,” Merrill said, now turning to face Renya and Meviel. “But I’m sure he’s not above a little… showing off,” she finished with a little smirk.

Renya laughed. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A smile started spreading on Merrill’s face. “You know full well that you’d tell the story the same way!”

“The boar wouldn’t have charged at me.”

Merrill chuckled and knocked their shoulders together. “No, you don’t show off at all.”

Renya opened her mouth indignantly, couldn’t think of anything to say, and so closed it again. She tried to look grumpy but her grin gave her away. Meviel, meanwhile, was incensed.

“Renya will be a great hunter! Or loremaster, or whatever you decide to be.”

“Hunter,” Renya replied absentmindedly, still pretend-glaring at Merrill.

“Good. I’d hate to take all of the boar-hunting glory for myself!” Tamlen sat down on Merrill’s other side.

“Vin, I’ll remember that if you ever decide to go someplace and I don’t immediately want to go with you.”

“You two are ridiculous,” Merrill said with a shake of her head.

“Well,” Meviel said with disappointment as Renya and Tamlen continued bantering back and forth across Merrill. “I might turn in.” She grabbed Renya’s arm. “Melava somniar.”

Renya turned and nodded at her. “Melava somniar,” she replied with a smile.

Meviel looked slightly exasperated, but rose and left for the aravels.

“Only another year until we start apprenticing, lethallan, can you believe it?” Tamlen asked.

“It doesn’t bother you that she’s going to be a hunter?”

Tamlen frowned at Merrill. “Why would it?”

Merrill saw Renya frowning, as well. “No, it shouldn’t,” she said with a shrug. “Just… some people…”

Tamlen waved a hand dismissively. “Some people are da’felas. We have to be hunters together, don’t we?” But his glance at Renya was unsure. He relaxed when she smiled.

“Vin. Of course, lethallin. There’s nothing I’d rather be.” She glanced at Merrill, who was smiling shyly at her lap, and leaned into her a bit. “After all, I have to protect _the clan,_ don’t I?”

She laughed when Merrill blushed and looked up in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Renya, you heart-breaker...
> 
> I found a plot in the comments to make more DA fanfiction happen.... And it's working.... I've updated every week for almost, what, three weeks now?? haha #JusticeForMerrill
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	14. The Beginning (Dragon 9:22)

_Dragon 9:22_  
  
They were in a clearing, the forest floor covered in soft clover and the velvety halla grass the Dalish elves so loved. Merrill walked forward slowly, gaping at the scenery around her. A stream bubbled by, its clear blue water mirroring the sky. The trees that defined the perimeter of the clearing were dense enough to offer protection and shelter to the area, but not dense enough to hide predators. And the sky… the sky opened up above her, and the dark green of the trees seemed to reach up and touch it with their swaying leaves.

Renya was studying Merrill carefully. “Do you like it?” she whispered.

Merrill turned to her friend, eyes wide and smile wider. “Like it? This is… one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen,” she said earnestly. Her smile faded slightly. “But why all the secrecy, lethallan?”

Renya rubbed her forehead again. “I found this place a few weeks ago,” she began stiffly, not looking at Merrill. “I thought…” She sighed and didn’t say anything for a moment. Merrill waited, watching her friend interestedly. After a long silence, Renya looked up and met Merrill’s eyes in an attempt to seem off-handed. “I was just thinking that this place… it’s something that I thought would be nice to…” And just like that, she was losing steam again. “And it would… when the time comes… my bonding ceremony…” she rambled, voice and eyes dropping.

“Bonding?” Merrill asked, frowning in confusion. Then realization hit and she started to laugh. Renya, who had been continuing to mutter an explanation, was startled silent.

“What?” she asked defensively.

“Why, Renya,” Merrill began, grinning. “Who would have thought that you would be such a romantic?”

Renya opened her mouth, wavered, and then closed it again, a blush creeping up her cheeks. “So… you think this is an… acceptable place?” she asked.

Merrill gestured at the nature around them. “Of course. Who wouldn’t love it here?”

“You really think so, lethallan?”

“I do,” Merrill said earnestly. “Whoever you bond yourself to will love it,” she finished carefully, touching Renya’s shoulder lightly. A small smile crept across Renya’s face and Merrill mirrored it.

“…and I won’t tell anyone. Our secret,” Merrill added. Renya’s grin widened in relief.

“Ma serannas, lethallan.”

“…even though I can think of a few elves who would love to know you have a soft side,” she commented with a wink, looking almost sad. Renya slapped her on the arm, mumbling something at her. Merrill barreled on. “Who is the object of your affection, anyway?” Renya smiled awkwardly and looked away.

“No one,” she replied simply, shaking her hair out of her face. She stared pointedly at the babbling stream. “That’s why I wanted to show you. I had to tell someone; I was too excited to keep it to myself.

“It’s Tamlen, isn’t it?”

“What? No.”

“It is. You lie.”

“It’s not Tamlen. It’s... no, it’s not Tamlen.”

“Sure, sure,” Merrill said, solemnly nodding her head. Renya rolled her eyes. “Should I tell him?”

That earned her arm another smack. “It’s not Tamlen, but if you want to tell him that, go ahead.”

“Then who?”

Renya sighed.

***

“But Hahren…”

“I’m sorry, da’len. You can’t undergo your vallaslin ceremony without a clear indication of which god you will dedicate yourself to.”

“But… but what if it’s a sign, Hahren? Maybe I’m… I don’t know, supposed to pick or something…”

Marethari frowned, but mostly she felt sorry for Renya. The poor elf had come back from her cleansing ritual peaceful and with a different air about her than when she left. That was unsurprising; most elves returned from their journeys looking more like the adults they were about to become.

What was surprising was that each of Renya’s meditations after that had been unclear, foggy, and distinctly lacking in direction when it came to the god to which she would be dedicated. Marethari sighed. She supposed it wasn’t all that surprising, if she was honest. That could happen if an elf’s future was to be different from what was expected: the gods had not decided who would be best to guide the elf. And, Marethari supposed, the daughter of a keeper who would never be keeper herself, and who had no other aspiration than to be a hunter, would certainly fall into that category.

She sighed again. “No, da’len. You can’t just pick a god for you vallaslin ceremony. We will postpone it for a few days, and I want you to take the time to meditate. No training, no talking to anyone other than at meals. Your full attention must be inward so your path will be made clear.”

Renya looked distraught, but didn’t argue.

“Vin, Hahren,” she said dejectedly before bowing and taking her leave.

Ashalle found her later, sitting at the edge of the camp and staring out into the woods.

“My vallaslin ceremony has been postponed, Mamae,” Renya began when Ashalle sat down next to her. She looked at her mother, and Ashalle’s heart broke when she saw the tears in her daughter’s eyes. “I will never be an adult.”

“What’s this?” Ashalle asked, pulling Renya into a hug. “Who says you’ll never be an adult?”

Renya explained what Marethari had said. Ashalle was quiet for a few minutes after Renya had finished. Finally, she pulled away enough to look Renya in the eyes.

“This just means that there is something great in store for you,” Ashalle said with a small smile. “The gods must be fighting over who will accompany you.”

“I wish to be a hunter, Mamae. How difficult is that? I should be devoted to Andruil like the other hunters.”

“Tamlen is marked by Dirthamen,” Ashalle offered gently. She smiled. “Everyone was surprised.”

Renya wilted a little, and Ashalle’s smile faded.

“Who knows what it means?” Ashalle said, putting her arm around Renya’s shoulders. “Does it mean he will find knowledge unknown to others? Or will he search for those lost and only stop when he finds them? Or perhaps he is a kindly young man who has his own Falon’din in this very camp.” She pulled Renya into a firm side-hug. “Don’t worry, da’len. Whatever path opens to you will be the right one, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes.”

Renya nodded with a small sigh. “Ma serannas, Mamae.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've made it to the beginning of [I Will Call You Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488648/chapters/21470471)! And a little insight/foreshadow from Ashalle...
> 
> I've written a whole bunch, so we'll have another short flurry of posts coming soon, too :)
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	15. From a Different Perspective

_“I was supposed to accompany you for your purifying ritual. Your vallaslin ceremony is in three days!” Merrill said, pointing at her own forehead, her blood tattoo still dark from her ceremony the week before._

_“I know,” Renya replied, suddenly solemn. She rubbed her forehead self-consciously. It was odd to think of herself as finally having the tattoos that signified adulthood. Admittedly, she was torn between feeling ready and being terrified that she wasn’t. Sighing, she looked at Merrill seriously. “It’s only a little out of our way,” she said softly. “Please, Merrill?”_

_Merrill startled at her friend’s sudden change in demeanor. It wasn’t like her to be so serious, to… truly ask for something that she wanted, instead of acquiescing to another’s request out of her sense of duty to the clan. Her eyes narrowed in thought. Eventually she took a deep steadying breath and nodded. “Alright, lethallan. Where are we going?”_

_Renya brightened immediately and grabbed Merrill’s hand, pulling her forward a little. “This way!” she said excitedly. Merrill followed playfully._

_“Hey, where are we going?” She couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s enthusiasm._

_In lieu of a reply, Renya beckoned her friend on before melting into the forest again. This time, Merrill chuckled and followed suit, trailing behind her. The two elves made their way silently through the forest for a while. Merrill tried questioning Renya again, but Renya simply shushed her and led her deeper into the trees._

_They continued for the better part of an hour when Renya suddenly turned, her eyes bright. “Are you ready?” Her smile faded. “Only… you can’t tell anyone.”_

_Merrill’s ears pricked up in interest, and she raised an eyebrow. She indicated the forest around them. “Who would I tell?”_

_Renya smiled and squeezed her hand briefly before gesturing at her to follow. Merrill studied at her friend closely. The bravado from before was gone; she looked almost apprehensive. Merrill turned her senses toward the forest, trying to discover what was affecting her. Soon, they reached a thick copse of trees with vines and branches tangled together. The two elves stopped and looked at it._

Merrill sighed, watching the sun set. Renya would be going to Marethari’s hut soon, to undergo her ceremony. She had spent the previous day helping her design her vallaslin, after Renya has revealed that, three times now, Dirthamen and Ghilan’nain both appeared to her. Merrill hadn’t discussed it with Renya, but she wondered what they could mean. They were marks of leadership; Dirthamen with his deep, secret knowledge and Ghilan’nain with her command of the halla who guided them in their travels, were rarely seen on elves who were not loremasters or keepers.

There had been whispers, of course. There had always been whispers when it came to Renya, and they usually had to do with her being in a leadership role (or not). But for the former keeper’s daughter – the one without magic – to have markings of leadership? Well, that was just unheard of.

Merrill scoffed. Sometimes she wished the clans lived around other people, because she was certain that there were more important things to talk about.

The sun set and she watched Tamlen stride away from the hahren’s hut. She frowned. Apparently, he had followed Renya to wish her luck. Merrill’s heart jumped into her throat. Maybe she should have done that, too. Well, it was too late, now.

Her mind drifted over the past few days. Renya’s purifying ritual had gone as planned, with the exception of a brief detour to a clearing that Renya had found and wanted to show to her. Her heart fluttered a little.

_“So… you think this is an… acceptable place?” she asked._

_Merrill gestured at the nature around them. “Of course. Who wouldn’t love it here?”_

_“You really think so, lethallan?”_

_“I do,” Merrill said earnestly. “Whoever you bond yourself to will love it,” she finished carefully, touching Renya’s shoulder lightly. A small smile crept across Renya’s face and Merrill mirrored it._

But Renya had said that no one in the clan had particularly caught her eye, and Merrill tried to forget the feeling of Renya holding her when they went swimming, and coming to stay with her during storms, and… She let her mind wander.

_“I do,” Merrill said earnestly. “Whoever you bond yourself to will love it,” she finished carefully, touching Renya’s shoulder lightly. A small smile crept across Renya’s face and Merrill mirrored it._

_“So… who is the object of your affection, anyway?”_

_Renya smiled. “You, Merrill.”_

No, no, no. That wouldn’t happen. Renya was straight-talking, but not that straight-talking.  
_“So… who is the object of your affection, anyway?”_

_Renya chuckled to herself, still looking around the clearing. She walked toward the babbling stream and sat down by it before indicating that Merrill should follow her. She did, and shyly interlaced their fingers. Renya smiled at her but didn’t say anything. The scene paused as Merrill decided how she wanted to bring up the subject of bonding, and Renya, and would it be nice if they could just…_

In an instant, the daydream ended as Merrill remembered a similar situation that had happened just the previous night. Silently, Merrill cursed herself. Marethari had found them together late one night, sitting in the dark together. Merrill had been contentedly snuggled against Renya, enjoying the feeling of Renya’s arm around her shoulders as they talked.  
Marethari had wavered when it came to reprimanding Renya, until she finally just sent her home with the admonishment to never find them together like that again. Merrill, however, had gotten an earful. Apparently, Ashalle had approached Marethari to advocate for Renya to be a hunter, and Marethari had finally relented.  
But that meant, the hahren said, that Renya and Merrill were to not spend more time together than a hunter and a first would usually spend together. After all, firsts and keepers were to be fair toward all, and yet maintain the traditions of the Dalish. And that meant that firsts and hunters didn’t “mingle.”  
_“But Marethari, you’ve said over and over that Renya should be a loremaster. I know that her father was the hahren before you. Doesn’t that change anything?”_

_Marethari sighed. “I’m sorry, Merrill. Renya has chosen her path. We must all walk the roads that are before us, with the knowledge that other roads can no longer be taken.”_

Talking was coming closer. It seemed that Renya’s ceremony had completed, and she had run into Tamlen. They were talking excitedly about the next day, when Renya would begin training as a hunter.

Merrill slipped into the shadows as the two friends passed.

“It’s going to be great. I saw you with Nolith’s dar’misu,” Tamlen was saying. “If you’re half as good with a bow as you are with a blade, you’ll have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Renya nodded, looking excited and nervous.

“And if you’re really bad,” he added nonchalantly. “I’ll just never let you live it down.”

At that, Renya laughed. Tamlen grinned at her, obviously glad to have gotten her to relax. She knocked into his shoulder.

“Likewise, lethallin,” she teased. “Just wait until I get my hands on a bow and arrow. You’ll never have seen marksmanship like mine, I’ll bet!”

Their voices faded as they walked away. Merrill peeked out from her hiding place, both glad she hadn’t been caught and disappointed that Renya hadn’t somehow intuitively known she was there. With a sigh, she got up and returned to her own aravel. Her thoughts kept drifting across the camp to where she knew Renya would be putting together a pack for her first lesson tomorrow and, with another sigh, pulled open the door to her aravel and climbed inside with just her thoughts for company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Renya's apprenticeship will be great and everything will be great.
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	16. The Right Set-Up

“No, Renya. Again,” Master Elrerion said, impatience bleeding into his voice.

“Vin, Hahren,” Renya murmured, fitting another arrow. It drooped before she could fire it, and she twisted the bow around so the arrow could rest on it more easily.

“ _No,_ ” Elrerion said, taking the bow and righting it. “Your arm will be weak if you use a bow like that. It will affect your aim…”

“Her aim is already off,” Radha, another apprentice, quipped with laugh. “She might as well have shemlen eyes.”

Renya felt heat rise in her face. Elrerion ignored both of them.

“Both eyes open, Renya,” he said. When Renya’s bow shook again, he grabbed the top to steady it, causing Renya’s blush to darken. “Visualize its path, then let the arrow fly.”

Renya hesitated. Elrerion watched her silently for a moment, frowning slightly.

“ _Release the arrow._ ”

With a gulp, Renya fired her shot. It flew past the person-shaped target they were using and stuck into the bale of hay behind it. Elrerion sighed. Renya’s throat tightened in embarrassment as Radha and the other apprentices laughed.

“Keep practicing,” Elrerion said. He turned to the other elves. “I don’t see you resetting your targets!” he barked, causing the others to scramble for their own arrows, neatly clustered in the various targets set up around the training grounds.

Renya went over to the hay bale and yanked her arrows out. It wasn’t fair. All of the other apprentices seemed to be able to aim and fire arrows perfectly, and here she was not even able to hit a target. She stomped back to where the other apprentices were standing firing arrows effortlessly and dumped her arrows into the canister next to her bow and went back to practicing with the rest of the apprentices. They broke for lunch a little while later, but Renya stayed where she was, grumbling under her breath and she tried again and again to hit her target.

“Renya, you should eat something,” Elrerion said. “Look, everyone is at the campfire.”

“Vin, Hahren. I will be there in a moment,” Renya said. “I… I would like to practice when no one… no one is watching.”

Elrerion considered her for a minute, and then nodded. He gripped her shoulder. “You’ll get it, eventually, Renya. Oh,” he added, as if he’d forgotten. He placed his hunting knife on a little stool near them. “Maybe you should work on your blade-work, as well. I haven’t forgotten your actions with that templar.” And he walked away.

Renya blinked. Use a blade? She couldn’t learn to shoot an arrow with the hunting master showing her. How was she supposed to practice with a blade when there was no one to teach her? “That one time” was luck, fueled by boiling anger, and yet Elrerion made it seem like it was something special. She was torn, feeling obligated to do what Elrerion had asked her to do and to just continue practicing with her bow, which was less and less tempting as the moments passed. Tentatively, she picked up the hunting knife. It felt so solid and substantial in her hand. Impulsively, she wondered what it would be like to throw it.

What would be the harm? She glanced around. No one was nearby; they were all eating the afternoon meal. With her heart pounding, Renya took aim, balanced the blade – somewhat awkwardly – in her hand, and threw it at the target. It made a satisfying whistle as it twirled through the air, before the blade buried neatly into the target around where a person’s eyes would be.

Renya stared at it with her mouth open. That was how archery was supposed to be, she thought. Natural. She was an elf, after all. She shook her head, convinced herself it was just luck, and went to retrieve the blade.

“Okay, new target,” she murmured to herself. Maybe the shoulder area. She took careful aim, balanced the hunting knife again, and threw it, not noticing the small smile that appeared at the satisfying whistle as the knife spun through the air.

It hit its target again.

Well, then.

“I’m not _completely_ useless as a hunter, then,” she muttered to herself, shooting a glare at the bow and arrow.

“Of course you’re not.” Merrill had snuck over to the practice grounds to try and collect Renya. She looked at the practice dummy. “That’s impressive.”

“Ma serannas.”

“You’ve never done that before?”

“Nae.”

Merrill waited until Renya had retrieved the knife and come back. “I saw you practicing with the others earlier.”

Renya swallowed. “Oh?”

“Vin. It seemed like a rough morning.”

“It was,” Renya agreed with a sigh.

“That’s because Elrerion is too good at shooting arrows,” Tamlen commented, walking up behind them both and munching on an apple. He offered one to Renya, who took it gratefully.

“Here, watch.” He took one final bite before picking up Renya’s bow, tilting it to the side, and sticking out his index finger of his bow arm.

“It acts as a guide and as extra space for your arrow to sit, look,” he said. Renya came and stood next to him so their heads almost touched. “See that?” She nodded. He pulled the bow taut again. “Aim,” he said, and did so. “Exhale…” He did. “And…”

The arrow flew and landed neatly in the center of the target’s chest. Renya swallowed nervously.

“Here, you try.”

They traded places, and Renya reluctantly fitted another arrow and held the bow the way Tamlen had shown her. Clenching her jaw a few times, she pulled back on the string, exhaled, and let the arrow fly.

It hit the dummy in the chest.

“Good!” Tamlen said, slapping Renya on the back. “Tel’enfenim. Eventually you’ll be able to shoot an arrow like a regular elf.”

“Ma serannas, Tamlen!” Renya said, grinning, as she fit another arrow. It missed, but clipped the dummy. Tamlen’s face fell a little, but Renya was still elated.

“Did you see that? It was so much closer this time!” Another arrow. Another miss, but the material ripped as the arrow went past it. Renya let out a triumphant laugh.

“I will keep practicing. I’ll be an archer in no time!”

Tamlen and Merrill shared matching indulgent smiles.

***

“Nolith, I have a question.”

“Renya, I have an answer.”

“…can I trade you for your dar’misu?”

Nolith looked up at her in surprise. “What? Why do you want it?”

“I… I’ve been training, and… When Master Elrerion takes us on our next hunt, I would like to have a decent blade. To practice with.”

Nolith considered her, then shook his head. “You don’t need a dar’misu. Anyway, I train with it.”

Renya crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. Nolith seemed to read her thoughts.

“And that’s _exactly_ why I need to practice with it,” he grumbled.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll convince Master Elrerion to have you go with us. Then I can just borrow your blade, but you can still have it and just pretend you’re doing me a favor.”

“I would be doing you a favor.”

“Fine. You can pretend you’re only giving in to me because I’m annoying you.”

“You _are_ annoying me,” he said, but he grinned. Renya chuckled.

“Good. So that’s settled, then.”

Now it was Nolith’s turn to laugh. “Alright, alright. If it means that much to you. I don’t see why it should. You’ve been much better with your bow and arrows recently.”

“I just… I just want to try. Master Elrerion seems to think that I have a talent for blades, but there aren’t many in the camp,” Renya said with a little shrug. Nolith watched her for a moment, and then nodded.

“Alright. If you can convince Elrerion, we can go hunting together.”

“Yes! Ma serannas!” She gave him a quick hug and then ran back to where the other apprentices were waiting for Elrerion to arrive. Nolith watched her go, shaking his head and smiling, before turning back to mending his armor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Nolith and Renya together, and man, she really has bad aim, doesn't she?
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	17. Pride

“There are diseased boars in the area,” Elrerion told them one day a few weeks later. “It would be good for you to learn how to safely track them, as their patterns are different than healthy boar. I’m bringing an extra hunter, just in case a problem should arise.” He nodded at Nolith, who was looking grim.

“You two,” Elrerion said, pointing to Radha and another apprentice. “Will be with me. You two,” he pointed to Tamlen and Renya. “Will go with Nolith.”

Renya grinned and tried to catcher her brother’s eye, but Nolith was staring stony-faced at Elrerion. With a strange jolt of realization, Renya realized this would be the first time Nolith was in charge of apprentices. She became somber. She wouldn’t let him down, no matter how bad her archery was.

“I don’t want the apprentices being the ones to engage the boar,” Elrerion said. “They are to learn to track and offer support. But it’s on the hunters to bring it down.”

Renya noticed Nolith looking determined and a little ill, and vowed even more strongly to not let him down. Another few instructions from Elrerion, and they were off.

“The important thing to remember,” Nolith whispered as the forest swallowed the sound of the camp behind them. “Is that diseased boars are often more wary and jumpy. This isn’t a hunt to feed the clan; this is a hunt to put the poor animals out of their misery and keep them from spreading disease. No warning is necessary.”

Tamlen nodded, looking around the forest warily. They walked silently for a time, listening to the sounds of the forest chirp, rustle, and sigh around them. Something out of place caught Renya’s attention and she paused, looking at Nolith. He nodded.

“I hear it, too,” he whispered. He fitted an arrow, and indicated that Renya and Tamlen should do the same.

“There.”

A few paces ahead was a large boar, its eyes cloudy and with clumps of its hair missing. It was staring at a tree angrily, looking like it was about to charge.

“It doesn’t even see what’s in front of it,” Tamlen said with a little pity.

“No,” Nolith murmured back. “Best be quick. On my count.”

The three pulled back on their arrows and released them as one. Unfortunately, at that moment the boar charged at the tree, so only one arrow struck it. It wheeled around with a bellow and fixed its red-rimmed eyes on the three elves. Nolith pulled out his dar’misu, looking unsure.

“Nolith! Look out!”

At the last minute, Nolith lost his nerve and dove out of the way of the charging boar. The boar clipped his arm as it went by, knocking the blade out of it. The boar, meanwhile, had heard Renya’s scream and changed course, charging at her angrily. She saw Nolith’s blade and dove for it, hearing the boar bellow as more arrows struck it. Tamlen was yelling something to her, but she couldn’t make out the words.

“Fenedhis, _fenedhis_ …” Renya muttered, scrambling backwards on the ground. Suddenly, she remembered the dar’misu. She watched the boar bear down on her and at the last moment raised the blade and plunged it into the animal between its eyes. It collapsed onto her.

“Renya! Renya!”

Nolith was at her side in an instant, worry written on every inch of his face. He relaxed when he saw that she was alive and unhurt.

“Tamlen, help me.”

Between the two elves, they got the boar off of Renya and then helped her to her feet. She winced as she put weight on her ankle.

“Take a few steps,” Nolith commanded, not meeting Renya’s eyes. She obeyed, wobbling a little, but managed to walk to where Tamlen was now standing.

“It’s not broken,” he said, following her. “Although you should get it checked when we are back at camp.”

“Vin. Aren’t there more boars to hunt?”

Nolith raised an eyebrow. “Not for you. You can’t walk.”

“I can walk fine!” She looked at Tamlen for help. He glanced between them nervously before sighing.

“Just a little further. Master Elrerion will be upset if we return now, won’t he?”

Nolith looked torn for a moment, and then nodded heavily before turning and walking deeper into the forest. Renya hurried to catch up with him, limping a little.

“I won’t say anything,” she said. He looked at her. “As far as I’m concerned, you killed that boar, like Master Elrerion expected.”

“I didn’t,” Nolith said miserably. “I put you both in danger. I knew it was going to move, but didn’t think to tell you…”

“I would have missed, anyway,” Renya offered, trying for humor. She offered the dar’misu back to him and he took it roughly, glaring at her. Her smile faltered. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. “If Master Elrerion can still think I can be a hunter after I almost took his ear off the other day, then you can still lead a hunting party after we went into the woods, killed the diseased boars, and returned unharmed. So stop thinking like that.”

“You didn’t even hesitate.”

“Ir tel’him?”

“You didn’t even hesitate,” Nolith repeated, staring straight ahead. “With the dar’misu. It was like it was an extension of your arm. And you’re just an apprentice.” His face darkened a little. A crunch ahead of them made all of them startle, but it was just Elrerion and the other hunters and apprentices.

“We killed two. I don’t think there are many others,” he said. “I think it was contained.” He looked expectantly at Nolith.

“We only found one,” Nolith offered.

Elrerion nodded, smiling at him. “And I see our apprentices are still in good working order.”

Nolith swallowed. “Vin, Hahren.”

“Good. Let us get back to camp, then. I’m proud of all of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely, getting there..
> 
> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


	18. Some Day

“I heard Master Elrerion say that Nolith killed one of the boars and protected you and Tamlen from it.”

Renya smiled at the first’s approach. “Vin, yes. He was very brave.”

Merrill fixed her with a stern look. “I have a feeling it wasn’t really him that saved everyone.”

“Ir tel’him?”

Merrill came over and picked up one of the newly-crafted arrows in Renya’s basket and twirled it idly. “You know Nolith better than I do, and even I know he likes talking about his hunts more than he’s talked about this one. He also asked Master Ilen to trade his dar’misu,” she added casually, watching for Renya’s reaction.

_“What??”_

“So you killed a boar with his dar’misu?”

“I… Where would you get an idea like that?”

“Oh, come on, Renya,” Merrill said with exasperation. “I’ve seen him watch you when Master Elrerion loans you his hunting knife to practice with. He wishes he could wield a blade like you can.”

“Vin, well, I wish I could shoot a bow and arrow like he can,” Renya said, glaring across the camp, searching for her brother.

“Why else would he come back from a hunt, not tell anyone about it, and then sell his blade? Do you know how much he begged Master Ilen to trade for one for him?”

Renya sighed.

“Face it, Mahariel,” Merrill said, leaning into her a little bit. “You’re going to be a great hunter one day. And…”

“Do elves ever use blades? In the old stories?”

Merrill looked at her questioningly. “Well, yes. Some hunters here have used blades, too. Other clans have warriors who even use shields, like shemlen do. Hahren Sarathiel used to hunt with blades, but she is too old to – Renya, where are you going?”

“I must speak to Master Ilen before he leaves for the trading post.”

***

Renya pulled back on her bow, her body aching. They were reaching the end of their apprenticeship, and Master Elrerion had them running the courses he set up, leaping from tree branch to rock, across streams and nimbly over bramble bushes, only to have to pause and fire at a target. She had taken a nasty fall on a slippery rock and cracked her head on one of the river stones under the cool water, but she had been in the lead and so had dragged herself up and kept moving. She had heard and ignored the concerned shouts of both Tamlen and Master Elrerion.

Now she stood, taking aim and blinking furiously through her headache. Movement caught her eye, and she glanced over to see Merrill watching her, half-hidden in the shadows of the trees. Renya’s heart jumped pleasantly, and she released the arrow, only to see it go whistling past the target.

“Fenedhis,” she muttered, only vaguely aware of the others gaining on her. She had wanted to hit the target first, first to prove to herself that despite her still-abysmal archery she could still be a hunter, but now a drive to simply win was even stronger with Merrill’s eyes on her. She stood a little straighter and took a deep breath.

Radha appeared next to her. “Tough competition, Mahariel!” she panted amiably, pulling out her own bow. Renya clenched her teeth and glanced over at Merrill again.

“Breathe,” the first mouthed at her, clasping her hands together and looking as anxious as a mother watching her fledgling go into the forest for the first time. Renya nocked another arrow and tried to ignore the pounding of her heart.

“Aim…” she breathed, pulling the bow up.

She exhaled and fired her arrow.

It hit the target moments before Radha’s did, and slightly closer to the center, as well. She turned to Renya, smiling.

“That’s some shot, Mahariel.”

Renya grinned. “And yours.” But her glance immediately went to where Merrill was still standing, now beaming. Radha saw the glance and smirked with a little eye-roll.

“Of course. Because she’s watching.”

Renya smacked her arm good-naturedly.

Master Elrerion approached, smiling. “Renya, I’m impressed with your aim, and how you handled the course. It seems you certainly have the drive to lead others through your example, like your…” He trailed off a moment and his smiled wavered, but he hitched it back into place. “Like the many fine hunters who came before you.”

Renya’s smile, which had become very hopefully, stayed on her face but now looked disappointed. She had hoped to have heard “like your father,” but she supposed being a hunter was, in fact, nothing like what her father had been.

And that is okay, she reminded herself. You’ve found your own path. Two vallaslin, and I finished the trial before everyone else. Nothing to be disappointed in.

Her eyes found Merrill’s again, and the first smiled.

“Find me later,” she mouthed before disappearing into the trees.

No. Nothing to be disappointed in at all.

***

Renya found Merrill later in a far corner of camp, away from the hubbub of the campfire. The sun was setting, and the sky was painted with pinks and oranges and blues, slowly turning the trees from green to black as the light slowly melted from the sky.

“Hello, Merrill.”

Merrill turned and smiled, and indicated that Renya should sit. “I didn’t know if you were going to come.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Merrill’s smile faded a little and she looked back into the darkening forest. “Because Marethari got upset.” She glanced over at Renya, but the other elf sat quietly, staring at a spot somewhere in the distance.

“I got you in trouble, didn’t I?”

Merrill waved her hand dismissively. “Everyone makes a fuss about how I’m the first. Well, the first wants to spend time with her lethallan.”

Renya smiled crookedly and Merrill leaned into her. “Congratulations on winning the trial today. I was impressed with how you moved through the obstacle course. How’s your head?”

“Mended and forgotten about,” Renya replied airily. Merrill laughed.

“So you still have a headache?”

“Vin,” Renya said. Merrill tisked. “Hahren Lestina gave me some willow bark to chew on, but it’s barely helped.”

“Oh, you poor da’len…” The first reached for where Renya had banged her head and touched it gently. “I wish there was a spell to cure headaches, but sadly there isn’t. Although I’m not sure why,” she continued with a frown, still cupping the back of Renya’s head and apparently oblivious to how close their heads were. “You would think someone would have invented a way to stop headaches. So many people get them. And I’m babbling again.”

“I like when you ramble.”

“Do you? That’s…” Finally, Merrill’s gaze, which had been studying Renya’s hairline as she talked about headaches, met Renya’s. She turned pink and let go of Renya quickly. Renya sat still for a moment more before turning away.

“It’s, um…” Renya began, not really knowing what she was going to say.

“Almost daenlea’nira,” Merrill supplied. They were both ignoring that their arms were still touching.

“Vin.”

“And the weather is getting cooler…” She scooted closer under the guise of correcting her balance to sit on the rock they were on.

Renya nodded. “Vin.”

“Will you tell a story?”

“Right now?”

Merrill laughed. “No, at daenlea’nira.”

“Nae. I am a hunting apprentice. I’m not a lorekeeper of any kind.”

Merrill finally succumbed and rested her head on Renya’s shoulder. “I like hearing you tell stories.”

Renya became very still. Just her eyes swiveled to look at the top of Merrill’s head. Her hair was brushing against the side of Renya’s face.

“I’m… not good at it.”

The first shook her head, although it felt like she was just snuggling closer. “Well I like hearing you tell stories. Master Elrerion tells stories sometimes.”

“Vin, but I am not the master hunter.”

“One day you will be.”

A little silence followed that. Merrill looked up and saw a small smile tugging the corners of Renya’s mouth.

“Vin,” she murmured, looking at the ground and still smiling softly. “One day I will be.”

Merrill grinned and rested her head back on Renya’s shoulder. They sat like that for a long time, both pretending to not notice Renya’s hand gently come to rest on Merrill’s thigh, or Merrill’s hand snake down Renya’s arm until she covered the hunter’s, interlacing their fingers just enough to be noticeable, but not enough to be presumptuous.

A slight cough made them both jump. Renya turned around quickly, standing up and already starting to apologize to Hahren Marethari, when she saw Tamlen standing there, grinning at her knowingly. It faded slightly and he took a step forward.

“They’re looking for the two of you,” he said quietly. “You don’t want to be found together again like last time.”

Merrill sighed.

“Go back,” Tamlen said to her. “Renya and I were… talking about the trial today.”

Merrill sighed again, but nodded. “Ma serannas.”

“Sathem, rajelan.”

Merrill gave a little eye-roll at the title, especially since it was delivered with a smirk, and glanced back at Renya. “Well… congratulations again.”

“Serannas, lethallan.”

Tamlen and Renya stood shoulder to shoulder as Merrill quickly walked back to the campfire. Renya did a double-take when she saw Tamlen looking at her.

“What?”

“Nothing.” But he kept staring.

“We’re friends, lethallin. That’s all.”

Tamlen raised an eyebrow. “Renya, we’ve been lethallen since we were small fledglings. And you’ve never snuggled me like that.”

Renya looped her arm with Tamlen’s and rested her head on his shoulder, rubbing her cheek on it slightly. “Sure I have.”

Tamlen laughed. “Don’t let my father see you do that. He’ll get more ideas in his head than he already has.” But he started walking back toward the campfire still arm-in-arm with her.

“Vin,” Renya replied with a little sigh. “Ashalle, too.”

He looked at her with a strange half-smile that was just a touch uncomfortable. Renya gave him a look.

“Tamlen.”

He nodded resignedly. “I know, I know.”

“Uh oh,” Renya said a few moments later, and dropped her arm from Tamlen’s.

“Where have you been?” Hahren Paivel scolded as they came closer. He glared between them. “Don’t lie to me. I know Merrill was with you.”

Neither Renya nor Tamlen responded, both concentrating on not looking at the other one. Finally Paivel sighed.

“It’s alright,” he murmured in his low voice, staring at Renya. “I remember being young, as hard as it may be for you to believe that. Just…” He wavered a moment. “Just remember that we are Dalish. That means we keep the old customs.”

“Vin, Hahren,” Renya said. Out of the side of her eye she noticed Merrill walking by with a book and determinedly didn’t look at her. Paivel watched her for another moment, and then nodded.

“Now come, it’s time to begin the meal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> Do you like thinking about stories behind the stories in video games? If so, check out and subscribe to [AmbiGaming](http://www.ambigamingcorner.com) for more!!  
> You can also support AmbiGamingCorner on Patreon and access extra video-game related thoughts, or say hello over on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/TheAmbiGamer)!


End file.
